Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I am pregnant. I hooked up with my step-dad not that long ago while my mom was out of town. I'm 30 and he wants to tell my mom my baby is his, and I like the idea of telling her, but also know she won’t take it well. FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
Today, my stepmom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a stepmom. FML
Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML
Today, I checked my mom's email to track a package I'm waiting to receive. Instead, I found out my mom canceled the order, and that my parents are getting a divorce and have been fighting via email for weeks. FML
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML
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Top comments
shaniqualee 2
Write a note and leave it on the light switch.
thighsofglory 0
Rent a billboard. No, wait.... Skywriting. That'll work.
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Comments (250)
iankennedy17 0
perdix I love you. you are so awesome. I would have your babies but I am a man. no ****
GiRIsMakingCupca 0
oops
Major_General 10
How about via email?
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
Email them the link to this FML! =D
Tigg3r 3
Okay this is simple! Send an e-mail to you cousin, then ask him to tell his girlfriend. Have the girlfriend tell her best friend. Have the best friend tell Pablo, the racist mexican in the taco stand on the side of the road. Careful though, you could end up with some funky smelling tacos on your front porch (DON'T EAT THEM!). Ask Pablo to tell your uncle and have you uncle tell your parents. Problem solved! XD BTW, I'm kidding about the whole Pablo thing. Actually half of my friends are mexican and they actually laugh when they read about this kinda stuff. It must be because they know I'm just joking around so yeah, I'm just joking around.
amandawins 0
SOUTH africa. You're an idiot.
zaphilia 0
This girl isn't a ***** or a ****. She's simply a complete idiot for getting pregnant when she can't afford to live on her own. I'm just assuming she can't afford to live on her own since she's living with her parents. If she was living with them for a short time because her house was getting fumigated or something then telling them she's pregnant probably wouldn't be an issue. Funny, if a man had made an FML about how he knocked some girl up and now has to tell his parents for whatever reason people would be saying "Get away from her quick!" or congratulating him on screwing some chick.
corme_fml 0
If she gets pregnant the guy doesn't have any say what she does. Her body, her responsibility. Doesn't sound like the guy forced her to have sex.
fudrick 0
If she gets pregnant the baby is just as much "the guy's" as it is hers.
iDollFace 0
congrats!
dealwithlife 0
lol#5. I wonder how her stepdad would react to that.
FortuneFaded 0
Why is everyone assuming that the pregnancy wasn't intended to happen? She might want a baby, but her parents are against it for some reason, hence the confusion about telling them.