Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML
Today, I turned 37. My acne turned 24, my eating disorder 22, my chronic digestive issues 35 and my insomnia 16. My boobs, on the other hand, look like they just turned 60. FML
Today, I turned 30. I still can't grow any facial hair. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
Today, more time goes by, more I’m going to have to accept that my 13 year-old sister is going to end up with size DD boobs, possibly even bigger, meanwhile I'm turning 25 this year and my boobs are stubbornly stuck at a B. Life ain’t fair. FML
Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML
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Top comments
Unlovable_Me 14
You must be a real life version of 13 going on 30
TMO2142 25
Well... happy birthday
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Comments (47)
Lisa_Kdubz 20
There's hope for those of us in the itty bitty titty committee after all
Bloodyskull 13
I heard of late bloomers but damn..... Seriously though, I don't think your mom gets how puberty works, because 70% It occurs near teenage years, maybe a little younger.
mommabearof2 4
You mean there's hope for me yet?!
sydmander 0
"And yours are hanging lower since you hit menopause! Soon, you'll have to roll them up like carpets just so they can fit in your bra."