Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, my mother brought home dinner for four people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML
Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML
Today, I'm dog-sitting. To give the pooches some exercise, I took them on a long walk through the fields, where they run, play, and sniff around to their hearts’ content. Thirty seconds after coming back home, one of them made a ginormous puddle right on my living room floor. FML
Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML
Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
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Top comments
Capt_Obvious 11
Next time, make the dog part of the meal and call it a 'foreign delight'
JustJumped 22
I hope you declined the invitation
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Comments (64)
eternal_malaise 10
There might be a career opportunity there. Some people spend huge amounts of money on their pets. You just need to be careful about what to feed them since some people foods are poisonous to them (chocolate, onions, etc.)
Shade1982 21
There is a market for that, but it's a very small and specific niche, I don't think that alone is enough to make a living... Maybe as a side job.
tehdarkness 21
Time to learn how to say no!
Heathtastic 10
There's this thing called saying no. Practice that
Mooglefox 24
Tell her you make people food, not dog food.
swedeNix 13
There is a Word u must learn: NO
TheBestAround512 1
I have never met a nice Pomeranian
focenspeil 7
Pretty sure i would accidentally leave it outside at night for the owls.
CougeeSwagg 19
Stop going
jc1015 25
there is such a thing as saying no...also leave your shoes where the dog can't get to them