Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML
Let him cook
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Picky
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
One happy family
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Kitchen Nightmares
Today, tired of my husband complaining that my food was basic and bland, I went out of my way to learn to cook using new recipes and fresh ingredients. He complained that I took too long to make dinner, and that the food is "fancied up shit." He can cook his own meals now. FML
Tasty treat
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Top comments
AngryPants 0
At least they enjoyed it...and it's easy to make!
Nakedsquirrel 5
If your husband likes your cooking, don't sweat it. Kids are naturally scornful of stuff that doesn't have fat or sugars or some such thing that tastes good to undeveloped taste buds. Try to convince your man to help with meals if not cook them himself, and in the meantime seek some advice or try a cookbook. Don't make wacky dishes or try anything with a strong flavor to it, as a remotely picky kid will hate it. Avoid veggies that are naturally spicy or tangy. And, as much as it may kill a health-conscious mother to do it, don't buy low-fat, low-sodium, low-etc anything. They really do taste worse than the standard. Also consider making stuff like pizza, which is much healthier homemade than from a chain.
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Comments (94)
wtfreallyin86 0
WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! #39 SAYS IMA DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really ? is that the best you can do? BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I did eat some shit today, it tasted great, thanks....what the hell was the point of you commenting on this if youre just gonna shit on other people man i am bored but you are gay and lonely so i win.
wtfreallyin86 0
#23 you think killing babies is funny? THATS HILARIOUS!!!! OMG WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! **** I'M GONNA GO KILL BABIES RIGHT NOW CUZ IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!
RaidenXS 0
Kraft > hamburger helper as a matter of fact it pwns n00bs cuz its 1337
Mhmthathappened 0
Oh wow. So you DO realize that you continuously comment on how lonley we are for being here and everything else everyone is saying but at the same timeyou must be refreshing this page over and over again...or waiting for your comment monitor to say you have another comment so you can respond with some attempt-at-sarcasm response. Yes. WE are the lonely ones.
wtfreallyin86 0
no, my roomates are with me actually, im just here cuz i dont feel like writing a paper and i feel like acting like an immature highschooler instead. I really hope no one actually took offence to anything i said, if so i apologize, im just bored and dont feel like doing this dumbass paper
wtfreallyin86 0
I am refershing the page actually. :)
Mhmthathappened 0
Ahaha. Niceee. But it's chill. I do that too sometimes, not on fml but I do randomly piss people off online. It is rather... comicalto see the responses.
wtfreallyin86 0
offense is with an s not a c. stupid
wtfreallyin86 0
yes
Mhmthathappened 0
Did you just comment on your own comment and call yourself stupid? Lmfao