Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML
Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML
Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML
Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML
Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
Because she's a dumb ass and embarrassed herself, you dumb ass.
Just_Me_143 0
hey, I did that when I was younger at a way museum. except I went behind the so called 'statue' and dropped coins in her open hand... then she turned around and I ran like hell
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Comments (126)
karissawface 0
57953746741th!!!!!!!!!
Hiropon 0
Were you wearing your contacts that day...? No, really...
Starfire22 5
hehe, I love shaggy! I would bear his children ;)
Whatsername6353 0
Amazing, just amazing. That's actually pretty damn funny.
pink_shades 0
has that's funny. I would freak if that happened to me though
KenyaMalfoy 0
Ouch, awkward...
omgitseasy 0
snickerdoodles stfu and go get a life, while your at it put on some makeup to cover that ugly thing you call a face.
Gobsnoglin 0
You know that guy had been sitting there as still as he could just waiting for that exact sequence of events to happen. You made his day, quite possibly his week.
therighthero 0
Sounds like good old Monterey to me. try seeing those guys when you drink! it's a trip.
goatfeathers 1
Is this in Victoria? You yelled in my face really loud.