Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Threesome
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Alexa, play "Why are you being so reasonable now?" by The Wedding Present
Today, my girlfriend said I make too many demands of her, and that I'm being unreasonable, I’m sorry but when dating surely it’s reasonable to expect conversation, intimacy, date nights, sex on occasion. Basically, if it’s not sitting on TikTok or Instagram, anything I want she says is “unreasonable.” FML
Shut down
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Get it on
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
Romance is dead
Today, I have tried so many times to do romantic gestures for my girlfriend, but each time she tells me to stop being silly or to just act normal or to stop annoying her. I guess we’ll just sit on the sofa on our phones ignoring each other then. FML
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
Mindreader
Today, my girlfriend began bitching about how I never take her on dates anymore. I suggested one for tomorrow and now she says she doesn’t wanna go, because, “I should ask her on a date without her having to ask.” What the hell? FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
Night terror
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Top comments
kirby1964 20
So, is she a great cook, or good with money. Maybe she opens doors for your career? Why do you stay?
Bryce Benefield 2
I’ve been on both sides of this in a relationship and both times I was scared to leave, but both times I was glad to go. Just leave, it’s best for both of you.
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Comments (49)
Amanda Ariel Wheatley 5
My husband asked for ******** everyday. She needs to get over herself or need someone new.
Madisonp6 5
Damn that sucks
Felice Godin 19
time for a new girlfriend
millsjoshua949 12
What I'm not understanding here is why is she still your girlfriend? ydi
randybryant799 21
I don't understand why you're even with her. It makes no sense to me.