Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
drayloon 50
So you cheated on her with her? Oh ok that makes sense
Cheeley 17
Well lock the door in case she does.
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Comments (160)
faireanjell 5
At least the crazy let herself out ...
IcemistDragon 20
She sounds like an idiot..I think it's a good thing you're rid of her..
BriannaMGK 15
She's crazy, let her leave and never come back! She has some issues.
antyo7 9
It does make sense but that's still absolutely ridiculous to break up with someone over.
kayvan 8
You dodged a bullet, rejoice.
amifaiyaz 12
You probably dodged a bullet, she sounds kind of nuts.
AnimeAddict95 20
Well you should should “confirm" if she's coming back and if not then rejoice that that crazy girl is gone.
legendxs 20
What a bitch!
moonfull101 13
Logic.
TaytheHuman 8
get out while you still can!!