Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
delyter 0
no offense but ur gf may be a retard
jmrtheman 3
I hope your gf is hella hot to make up how dumb she is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
birdfreak 24
ok look this is really pissing me off people on here are trashing MY homestate the state where I was born and raised when actually TX is actually really smart so everyone needs to shut up and stop joking bout it
teasdale18 0
thank you were not dumb just she might have had a moment
kristledaigle 0
rather safe than sorry.
glitchedgamer 0
I'm sorry you live in Texas.
escape269 0
doesnt matter if her food/drink is contaminated...
mrlopez 13
at least she cares about ya. Here honey, take this gas mask...
SmellyNachos 0
Well thats what you get for being married to a dumbass American
PedoPancakes 7
Hey, you can never be to careful
jack3e3 4
stupidity: be careful, it's contagious
madib1998 2
Duhh, it's cause shes from Texas.
el11 1
She is cray!!