Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML
Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML
Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML
Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML
Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML
Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML
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Top comments
cudi504 4
How did you let them figure that out?
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
at least you have a big dick.
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Comments (185)
bones_17 5
Take a shower you grub
nikl 6
Get a life you nerd. Now see you wouldn't like someone saying something like that to you
baseballlegitly0 2
makes your real penis look small eh hahaha
GraceKathryn97 0
That's so gross! Ew! I feel for ya tho!
clw1740 0
I want to know why your friends are playing connect the dots with your pimples.. Kinda messed up.
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, they actually started off playing Wack-a-Mole on his back, but then they realised those were actually malignant melanomas so they decided to switch games.
angrymexican 8
They were at a restaurant and the kids menu had no games, they had to improvise
Havin 19
For someone who's had 25 FMLs rejected you're pretty optimistic. You're pretty and optimistic! See what I did there?
Havin 19
For someone whos had 25 FMLs rejected you're pretty optimistic. You're pretty and optimistic! See what I did there?
bored2000 0
At least it wasn't a small penis...
every1luvsboners 11
You're obviously the Bacne God of Penis. This is a sign. I've been searching everywhere for you. You hold the key to eternal erections.
flockz 20
27- you misspelled ******.
Randy84 10
30- I'm pretty sure he intended to spell it that way... Allow me to define... Viagra- drug for erectile disfunction ( little blue pill that makes you hard) then there's ******- warm wet thing that my penis goes into after taking said blue pills.
Randy84 10
Worst grammar Nazi EVER!!!
flockz 20
27&50- i knew you meant viagra, and i meant ******. you have your opinion and i'll have mine. 51&53- i really, REALLY hope you're kidding. if you are, fine. if you're not, then **** you. seriously. i knew what viagra was when i was like 9.
Beebow_fml 5
61-I knew what Viagra was when I was like 8, so ya, take that.
angrymexican 8
I took it when I was seven, man was that a day
Randy84 10
Flockz, kudos to you for knowing about Viagra at 9, did I at least help you out with that definition of ******?
etphonehome10 0
haha how don't you know that it was Viagra not ******!!! FYL
sheethapins 13
Am I the only one who saw the joke 30 was trying to make?
LadyLexi 0
We do indeed.
chelseaaababyyy 17
107 - thank god you said something. it was annoying the hell out of me that people werent getting the joke. and trying to sound smart by 'correcting' him.
flockz 20
i love smart people.^ thank you
Beebow_fml 5
Randy84 is either a masterful troll, or a large dent in people's ability to detect sarcasm.
every1luvsboners 11
Randy, you're a flaming tard that's looking for any opportunity to correct someone, and it backfired on your dumb-ass. It was an obvious joke. Remove the stick from your arse and think for a goddamned minute, ****-stick.
Sgrocks 5
Um and why were they playing connect the dots with the pimples on your back??
2ndSucks 15
Anal instructions!
Skittlepickle 13
I wonder what the pimples on your face make?
ColCyclone 17
A bad social life
ikickgingers 15
I know all your favorite spots... And tonight we will connect the dots... Uhm no
ikickgingers 15
The spill canvas. Nope, nobody? Anybody? Guess not :/
white16sox 19
91 I smell an idiot.