Today, my husband argued with me for an hour, because he believed that loaded potato skins grow naturally on a tree. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I got into a huge argument. He called me wasteful for throwing out old food. He insisted that you can simply pick the mold off and the food was perfectly fine. He’s going to kill our kids. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML
Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alternative-facts 6
They usually grow in close proximity to the cheeseburger bushes. Nom nom nom.
Tripartita 45
You're a kinder person than me, OP. I would've given in, encouraged him to tell others and impress them with his knowledge, and wait for him to make an ass of himself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (19)
alternative-facts 6
They usually grow in close proximity to the cheeseburger bushes. Nom nom nom.
1hardasswoman 10
Whaaat? No!!! They grow in a patch, like regular potatoes Geesshh...a tree...what a knucklehead.
ScratchCatPower 32
I'm at a loss for words.
draghkar 18
I read a lot of bad things that happen to people here, but rarely is it life impacting. For this, however, I truly feel for you
Tripartita 45
You're a kinder person than me, OP. I would've given in, encouraged him to tell others and impress them with his knowledge, and wait for him to make an ass of himself.
RichardPencil 32
You're the one who kept it up for a hour. After minute three, I would've conceded the point and asked for one of those trees as a birthday or anniversary present.
wendyokoopa23 0
lol.
jay_south 19
And pizza rolls grow in rows, like corn.
Cynical_1 26
As I just finished saying on another FML...you married him.
vandj8 9
Does he also believe that money grows on trees?