Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. Fifteen minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
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Top comments
TheKingDon 2
You should have legally killed him. That would show him not to make stupid ******* jokes.
xxmollyxx 25
Well, that is funny :P
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Comments (114)
ScaryPants3 0
Oh wow, that's a terrible joke. :(
Zhejan 0
Looks like he got a "leg" up on you
godsrightnutsack 0
epic win 34 but seriously, be a man and fight! not run.
Gasoares22 0
DAtz Great LOL i wOOd of hadd a Beat down on his ass.....dat sux tho...
bugmenotmofo 34
get a new friend
777_alex_777 0
Uhhrm, exactly... when a guy breaks into ur house, ur first reaction is to open up a window and jump, instead of giving him a good whack? im pretty sure the latter would be faster and more effective for ur health =P
gomego87 0
Yeah-No. you shouldn't have ran... that's why we have airsoft guns? XD
iValerest 6
YDI for considering him a friend in the first place.
happyhak 5
YDI for typing "Though" instead of "Thought"
rkcraig53 0
He woulda been shot dead in many other houses. Not very smart!
ifmlftw 0
You can't possibly *puts on sunglasses* Stand for that. YYYYEEEEAAAAHHH
OhHushDear 11
Yeah, it is a terrible joke...but you almost deserve it for being "friends" with a jerk like that =/
xxmollyxx 25
Well, that is funny :P
Starchild21 3
You wouldn't think it funny if somebody did it to you I'm sure, though I don't know why he jumped out the window. Hahahaha nvm it is funny.
lahp 0
i would find it funny.. i once blindfolded a girl i like telling her i need to pick something up but they person wanted there identity hidden... i made her believe (with out saying it specifically ) when i stopped for half a second to get "the package" my best mate jumped in the back of the car...we then drove to our destination .. when we parked up i said she could take off her blind fold.. she continued doing what she needed to with her laptop and discs.. then my mate shouted boo! and she scream chucking her laptop and cds all over my car... she then run out the car screaming "oh my god!" over and over followed by "i hate you i hate you, you bastards" :D !!!
dnlphm94 0
^^ what? I can't really understand what you said...use periods and commas appropriately please. OP: I would've grabbed the nearest object and thrown it at them. If they get injured, then it would be their fault.
lahp 0
sorry here it is rewritten my bad i would find it funny.. i once blindfolded a girl i like, telling her i need to pick something up but the person i was getting the package from wanted there identity hidden... i made her believe (with out saying it specifically ) that it was drugs. when i stopped for half a second to get "the package" my best mate jumped in the back of the car...we then drove to our destination .. when we parked up i said she could take off her blind fold.. she continued doing what she needed to with her laptop and discs.. then my mate shouted boo! and she then scream, chucking her laptop and cds all over my car... she then run out the car screaming "oh my god!" over and over followed by "i hate you i hate you, you bastards" :D !!!
ClumsyJason 3
i have no idea what you said. :]
kylieh72 25
22- your comment was almost too long to dislike the first time and rewriting it only made it more difficult to fit in the screen to dislike again.
TheKingDon 2
You should have legally killed him. That would show him not to make stupid ******* jokes.
Dr_Balls 0
What's it like valuing property above human life?
Kylias 6
Very quiet actually. It's pretty nifty when you get headaches a lot.
gsfgf 0
He's in Cali. I don't think they have castle doctrine there. But you could definitely get killed doing that in the South.
the_stereotype 0
#15, WIN
dudemitch 0
When an uninvited, masked individual is in your house, the chances of him being armed and/or dangerous are extremely high. I value my own life and the lives of my family members over the life of such scum, and as such would not hesitate to promptly end his life. Property would in such a situation be the last thing on my mind.
InspiredByGaGa 8
Amen to that!
dguyuwishuwer 5
I was literally about to write your EXACT comment, word-for-word, until I saw it was the top comment
blackturquoise08 0
I would punch my friend in the face, lol
trulyinsane 0
Make him pay for the med bills. that's breaking and entering. lol.
Tthug 34
Uhhhh. Not if he had a key. It's just a shitty prank. Shoulda pulled off the ski mask. OP is a moron though. Jumping out a window? Seriously?
celeritas_5k 0
If he'd done that in my house, I probably would have shot him. (I mean actually fired a gun at him, not the figure of speech.)
dacho 7
He was right, it IS funny ^^ #7 - OMG WOOOW, YOU'RE SO COOOL OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
penecow290 3
would have shot him
AshleyRose784 0
good thing you don't have a gun because that coulda gotten ugly. your friend is a moron and you should press charges. he should also pay your medical bills.
meanie_monday 0
Lmao was jumping out the window the only option you had?