Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML
Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML
Today, I realized that since I was in elementary school, my friends, my workmates, and even my family, all call me accidentally by someone else's name instead of my actual name. I'm 30 years-old. FML
Today, I was so nervous introducing myself to my new team, I actually mispronounced my own name, badly, and now that’s how everyone refers to me, but again, I’m too nervous to correct anyone. It’s been a week already, so correcting them now would be extra weird. FML
Today, my in-laws moved in. FML
Today, my parents said that we're moving back to Los Angeles. I'm so fucking pissed off because in the couple of years since we moved to a tiny town, I've become a different person and love my new life. This is just completely undoing everything I've been through and they won't let me move in with my new best friend. FML
Today, my parents cut ties with me because I refused to drop out of college and move five states away with them for a "fresh start" after the deaths of my siblings. I basically lost my whole family in the span of just two months. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML
Today, I joined an impromptu work video meeting from a family vacation but forgot to change my display name from “Mom’s iPad.” For the entire hour, everyone called me “Mom” and I didn’t understand why they were calling me that. Once I realized what was going on, it was too late, so I’m officially “Mom” at work now. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Can't you just go by 'Lily' instead?
metallica_wins 20
Maybe you'll find your frog prince there.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (210)
tallperson69 2
Change your name
2712 8
Can't you just say your name is "Lily"?
Fernando83 19
Welcome to Texas! Just introduce yourself as Lily they don't need to know your full name.
drew12089 2
**** your judgmental self ppl in Texas aren't bad... And just introduce yourself as Lily
perdix 31
You'll be fine here, Lilypad, famous women from Texas have been named Ladybird and Ima Hogg. Just be glad you're not a dude.
Welshite 40
Yeah. Then you'll have to be introducing yourself as a partridge, right perdix?
perdix 31
I tell them I'm from the Partridge Family and I'm the bad-ass Danny Bonaduce. They think I'm lying until they see me driving my Mondrian-painted school bus.
taybear0 14
Texas isn't that bad
thatguy240 27
Oh you think living in Texas sucks, it must have been so great where you used to live, asshole
Blaphlafagus 19
What's wrong with Texas?
Zimmington 21
I don't think she means there's anything wrong with Texas. It's just the fact she was forced to move here. I felt the same way 7 years ago when I moved here with my parents.
dogpfcorn 11
Jerry jones is what wrong with Texas
awkwardloveannie 28
introduce yourself as Lily until you make friends that way you don't scare them off
Crusoe_fml 4
Marry me?
sempiternal80816 9
Okay piss off you hobo