Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mhc91 10
Then be a nice person and buy her more
Catkam623 27
For gods sake man not the cheesesticks. How could you think about your plans when such a tragedy has occurred.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
fantasyworld 39
Get her some cheese sticks.