Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML
Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML
Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddenly interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML
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Top comments
dabomb1463 0
YDI for being mean and insulting the elderly
FMLshark 12
I think it's safe to say you proved your point.
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Comments (111)
anencephalic 14
Now, English isn't my first language and I am — as my username implies — quite dumb, but am I really the only one who finds both the wording and the grammatical aspects of this FML rather strange?
MEM0817 18
That's like telling your dentist he sucks at his job while he's drilling into your mouth. Some things you just don't say when you're not in control!
MsMeiriona 2
I'd imagine it would be near impossible to tell your dentist that WHILE he's drilling. Just a guess, though.
immaMonsta 8
#79 Yup, and OP had to learn that the hard way
rubberduckie94 13
Did you pee your pants a little or a lot?
MEM0817 18
Okay fair enough 82. Then its like telling your dentist he sucks at his job before he drills into your mouth. You get my point though, I'm sure.
loserman67 36
Two very simple rules: #1: Don't insult your parents, it's rude and in this case dangerous #2: Don't insult the person who has control over the vehcle you are riding in, that's just stupid
IPoopedOnU 12
My mom would do this if I called her old...
CommanderBalls 10
troll dad for the win
MigraineurOfLife 15
He should of said your right & then sat you out & made you walk to school!
anarchistpunk 3
How can you guys say OP deserves it? Okay granted, dude you're in college you should be driving yourself, but i mean, it's the dads fault for not being able to take a joke. Don't you guys make mean jokes to Your parents? FYL dude.
pixie4 1
This was a serious over reaction. Do ppl not have a sense of humor anymore? Even if the op knew it was a touchy subject that was a poor way to react