Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out why the only business in town that operates in my chosen industry won’t hire me. Several months ago, my father antagonised the owner, bringing up my name in the process. I haven’t spoken to the man in five years. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, the guy I picked on in high school got his revenge. He bought out my dad's car shop above market value and then closed it. My dad doesn't care, he gets to retire early, while I get to watch something I'd hoped to inherit get torn down and sold off. FML
Today, I visited my dad's grave to give it a clean, since moss and shit were starting to grow on the gravestone. Apparently this counts as vandalism, according to the groundskeeper, because soap and water can damage the stone and make it crumble faster. Yes, the city cops sent me a fine. FML
Today, and for the past week, I've come to accept that my dad's business is failing. He's used to hiring people willing to work for little pay from a street corner, and now those guys have all but vanished. No "real" Americans want to work for him, even for minimum wage. This country is fucked. FML
Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML
Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
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Top comments
Karenezzy 20
Give him a hand on cleaning, instead of going online and writing about it. Help him out!
zandalee 20
F your father's life! That really sucks for him in these tough times!!
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Comments (72)
abombination 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Does he make you clean it?
btrag97 13
Well obviously not lol
abombination 13
Maybe OP is just to lazy to clean XD
abombination 13
Lol. Exquwse. Mai. Grahmmer.
btrag97 13
Hahaha
paperroll880 16
Time to put on the gloves and get cleaning! On second thought, add some masks as well, just in case ;)
PresidentNorth 16
Frexcos totally deleted his account lol. You guys embarrassed him.
TheAtheistChild 10
Maybe OP has a wife, children and a good job. (#13)
JJ_86 22
So? Why are people assuming it was OP's responsibility to clean? It was his/her dad's.
jazmin3012 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well that's News *badum-tss*
nana_star 27
Don't do that.
jazmin3012 28
sorry
jazmin3012 28
I was just trying to add a little humor to an otherwise sad FML.
nana_star 27
you're forgiven
TheAbstract 15
Never forgive. Never forget.
jazmin3012 28
didn't realize the FML community never takes well to puns
igive 29
That wasn't a pun.
cjwayy 22
Yeah, it really wasn't a pun. A pun is a play on words that's relevant to the context of a given situation. Like if a cat dies, it's a "cat-astrophe". Lame example, but good enough.
cjwayy 22
I think using "badum-tss" makes you sound like a twelve year old who thinks memes are funny.
hxnnxh 14
Puns are basically the jokes you'd read on the back of a penguin bar or in a Christmas cracker. Bad jokes, but very punny
HarrisonHarrison 4
Memes are funny, stupid bastard.
Karenezzy 20
Give him a hand on cleaning, instead of going online and writing about it. Help him out!
btrag97 13
If it's as bad as they say it is, I wouldn't wanna be near it lol
Already_Dead 15
but some men don't want help. If I had ever offered to help my father in this situation, he would have ignored me and walked away. They like to be "the man" and get shit done on their own. Or they are just so unsanitary that they live in their own filth and don't even know it (his house REEKS of cigars and marijuana, not to mention that it hasn't truly been cleaned in years).
zandalee 20
F your father's life! That really sucks for him in these tough times!!
nellbell414 13
Isn't it kind of his fault for not cleaning it? It doesn't take money to keep something nice, it takes work.
ItsMissLia 19
Maybe help your dad out a little OP & clean the place up with him. Sometimes people need a little push, to help them realize how nice things look clean and tidy
JJ_86 22
Needn't be. He sounds like an lazy azz to me who wouldn't care if the place gets back to a mess.
Alikia96 20
Is your father the owner of a business called Mcdonalds? That place... what great stuff they make.
gjikvtj 18
If it's in the restaurant business I'd guess Golden Corral
jazmin3012 28
Why are there YDIs on this one?
Alikia96 20
There's always gonna be YDI's on FML posts, even when the OP doesn't deserve it
spatula232 25
At least he didn't say 'f**ck her right in the pussy'...
zandalee 20
WTF?
pd2902 22
You should go give him a hand, sounds like it'd be a lot of work, but it'd be good bonding time too :)
JD1147 27
I imagine there's some hookers out there that could have the same description as your dad's business.