Happy family

Today, I happily introduced my stepfather to my friends as my dad. He told me, "Don't ever fucking call me that." FML

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year-old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

Overfamiliar

Today, I felt comfortable enough to finally call my stepmom "Mom." She politely asked me not to call her that. FML

Two speeds

Today, a waitress kept calling me "Mom" and my dad "Dad". My dad (69) and I (38f) hang out a lot, and very often go out to eat, just the two of us. Either I look really old, or people think he's got it going on. Why? They ask me, "Is that your dad or grandpa?" Then ask him, "Is that your wife or daughter?" FML

Babe 3: Pig on the phone

Today, I accidentally called my Dad “Babe” on the phone. FML

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

Today, I was pulled aside by my father's new wife and told, "You're not your dad's favorite anymore and you need to stop acting like it." FML

Today, my father called me to ask what my middle name is. He apparently needed to know it to remove me out from his will. FML

Step-nothing

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML