Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, both a coworker of mine and my boss agreed that I fit the profile of a serial killer. I don't know what's worse, the fact that they think that low of me, or the fact that this isn't the first time someone's said I remind them of a serial killer. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, just like every other day, I noticed that one of my male coworkers always stares at me while passing by or when it's time for lunch. I read somewhere that if a person stares at you too long, they either want to have sex with you or want to kill you. He has a girlfriend, so I doubt it's the first option. FML
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML
Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML
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Top comments
Krirn 21
Maybe it's time to take off that "Blink If You Want Me" shirt.
A_Perfect_Circle 12
Time for you to crack a smile like you are one yourself.
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Comments (47)
Welshite 40
Right, guys. Here's the "official follow-up", although I doubt anyone truly cares. Here's the story: I have a new coworker who started just a few weeks ago. Since I'm training him, we've discovered that our personalities mesh exceedingly well, so our work area is increasingly gaining the reputation as being the happiest on site. We've been told more than once that we are "having too much fun" by the older employees as we stagger through the building while doubled over with laughter. The staring started about a week ago as a joke, but he's since managed to recruit most of the coworkers in my area. There's nothing quite like having the place go silent and looking up to witness a sea of unemotional faces staring back at you. This is my third published FML.
ElectricNova 11
Actually from what I hear serial killers are quite loud in real life.
sanecatlady 13
Actually most serial killers, being the psychopaths that they are actually social, charming, and seem friendly. They often use those traits to manipulate their victims. And yet when they finally get caught neighbors will say things like, "He always seemed so quiet and kept to himself".
Wraith09 15
What a douche! Stay happy. That's the best revenge for all the miserable pricks in the world. Or bring in a "V for Vendetta" style mask and watch them through it. They'll tire of it soon enough, especially if it's not working on you.
peacejunior 12
Oh boy, you work with Vampires. Run OP run.
peacejunior 12
Oh, I just read your follow up. Then maybe you should walk singing
vikky538 29
create an issue...they are forced to talk...sorry OP..
megadki14 6
tell your supervisor
mamadoc 4
Google "boneless butt whole". Print out an image of the meat label, make a small poster of it and hold it up when they are staring at you. Repeat with a new funny image the next day. If no one breaks up laughing, they are pod people. Run!
worldclassrager 41
If the silence bothers you too much play some music...or get a game yourself until they quit...