Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Today, I was at a volleyball game talking with my friends when a girl who is in my team arrived. She was greeting someone else but I thought that she was saying hi to me. However, I'd already waved back at her. All my friends and others noticed the situation and as a result they laughed at me. FML
Today, I was on a work call when my coworker made an accidental Freudian slip. Thinking I was muted, I muttered, "That’s what she said." I wasn’t muted. FML
Today, I was pretending a long corridor at work was a catwalk, when a coworker walked out just in time to see me prancing around like an idiot. Now the whole building is laughing about it. FML
Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, someone was making jokes and everyone started laughing, so I laughed. He then proceeded to look me dead in the eye and go, "What are you laughing at?" I started stuttering and mumbled back quietly, "I don't know, what are you laughing at?" He goes, "I'm not laughing" and then they all stared at me weird. FML
Today, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and talk to my coworker because people have been saying I’m too shy. I say, "Hey" to a girl and she made fun of my voice. She’s the one who told me to talk more. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Should've asked them. When I hear people talking about me I just join in. Their reactions are usually pretty priceless.
Pentium_4 27
they're making you feel uncomfortable...but if you were to step in and say "do what?" then it would flip and they'd all be embarrassed and be uncomfortable.
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Comments (90)
KrazieKleo 13
Maybe you were picking your nose?
xxXJakeXxx 2
I was thinking picked a wedgie.
zandalee 20
Farted?
WaSiSimiLang 8
OP definitely farted... Just like in one of those 6teen cartoon episodes... The one when Jude stole Ron the rental cop's thermal infrared goggles so he could see the farts which escapes people throughout the mall! I bet op's co worker was wearing one of those, skulking around and just happened to pick up a crimson red trail which led to op... "captain! We've found something!" "affirmative, put it on visual..." "yessir! Definitely our target, what do we do now?" "we do what we are born to do... Move out soldier! To coordinates 17, 8, 13" "aye sir!" ---30mins later--- "sir, we've lost signals! This one's an evasive shit ass source..." "mind your mouth private! What about smells?" "Negative, sir! Visuals are picking up nothing, except heat signatures from the microwave and coffee-maker!" "well, we did what we could. Well done soldier! Back to base! Wait till I tell the others what we saw during our golf games... The press sure is gonna have a field day with this..."
ThisIsMyReign 4
64 - Did you sniff boot polish before writing this?
WaSiSimiLang 8
Nope, coffee powder!
TwinArmageddons 4
75 - I c Wut u did thar
KrazieKleo 13
83- I see what you didn't do there...
isallwaysme 27
that was the longest most irrelevant comment I have ever seen.
Sing_Along 7
Dude that sucks. Make sure you stop picking your nose at work then!
katcot99 11
Nobody said he was picking his nose.
nofearjenshere 12
He was being sarcastic.
gabrielle01 0
Stupid girl.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Interesting... I'm gonna act stupid here so I can see more thumbs down on a thumbed down thread, to make the thumb down streak a bit longer... Whassoooeeewwwwwhhhooooosssssaaaaaaaaaaa! Speneodcushwodxicjslxocosnwcagaucodejcpmdneslslsjbdkcd Yeah, stop digging your nose! Eeeewww that's do gross... Thanks!
lemonsquid 6
It's a girl btw
WCARlover 35
Should've asked them. When I hear people talking about me I just join in. Their reactions are usually pretty priceless.
KrazieKleo 13
Haha, I've done that once or twice. It goes from being hilarious to wtf in a matter of seconds haha.
StoryOfTheYear 15
But of course, I always toss in a "Yah I hate that ******, he's so goddamn annoying" whenever I hear someone saying something behind my back.
ladyLALAA 29
Haha, me too I say "Geez guys if you think that's good I could tell you some better ones!" It usually shuts a few up, the other try to make something up.
yahoowizard 16
And 18 wins the "Perfect Response" award
MDTeddy 13
Or they look at you like gtfo.
the_guy_wth 7
Tripped? Or leaned in such a way that revealed an embarrassing garment perhaps.
ninjaboy18 6
ask
Pentium_4 27
they're making you feel uncomfortable...but if you were to step in and say "do what?" then it would flip and they'd all be embarrassed and be uncomfortable.
kcutie 0
Exactly what I would have done! Made them all feel awkward! Then you'd hold control. ;)
sammy_mojo 7
That's kinda creepy that this person was just following you like that...and you didn't notice? Watch your back OP! Perhaps you're unaware of a violent twitch that happens in your arm when you walk?
Melinie 7
Were you trying to pick out a wedgie?
SkoomaKi 28
Who cares, in the future don't do anything embarrassing!
GVirdi 11
This is supposed to help with....?
TrippingOnAcid 29
Could have been a different person with your name maybe?
LittleGreenPaola 23
i was thinking the same! but if you're 100% sure they were talking about you, just go and ask. you've got nothing to lose.