Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. My boss is my brother. His reason being that, "it would create awkward tension between us." I've been working for him for 5 years, and it's like he's only just realised that I was there. FML
Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML
Today, I woke up early to make a good impression at my new job. As I was getting dressed, I noticed my shirt was missing a button. I frantically searched for another shirt, but couldn't find one that looked clean enough. I had to go to work in my buttonless shirt, and spent the entire day feeling embarrassed. FML
Today, after getting home from school, I realized I'd tucked my shirt into my underwear this morning. I'm fairly certain everyone got a good look at my lime green underwear. FML
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML
Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML
Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML
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Top comments
NakuEh 27
Wow. That is just terrible luck when it comes to the audit. I would definitely be planning to get revenge on your brother. Maybe switch his shampoo with hair dye.
madscientist_17 15
Don't you just hate work? It just shows how they view us a replaceable. Not as a real person with a good work ethic. Hopefully-if you want the job back- they might listen to your side and give you a second chance.
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Comments (60)
sighlifeman 12
shoot him with a paintball gun
freddygasman 18
in the balls while he's asleep
AmbrosiaFan 19
Methinks you should buy more than one white shirt. And how long is your shower that he had time to dye it green?
writerchic85 26
What kind of job gives you one shirt? It's stupid to expect you to wash it that much. If you don't wash it and it smells ill bet you catch hell for that too Plus it would wear out sooner.
zainman13 26
Could have called in a sickie to avoid this hassle ??? Or most FMLs are made up so we can have a laugh
saffy66 34
Your brother is a clown. Mind you, getting fired for that when there is a reason behind it, seems a bit harsh. Docking you a day's pay and sending you home would have been punishment enough. And your idiot brother should have had to make up the cash.
PennyLane27 32
I hope you find a new job that treats you like a human, and values you more than that! As for revenge, I'm not the vengeful sort. But a henna tattoo of a penis on his face, while he's sleeping, sounds about fair. That stuff takes weeks to fade *evil laughs*
JETarchitect 32
first, how do you only have one shirt?? second, why weren't the bosses more understanding once you explained and promised to never let it happen again? third, your brother should at least have to help you find a new job and/or buy you a new shirt
poorkitten 15
why didn't you just go buy a new white shirt on your way to work even if you were late you could given notice and have explained
Here4theshow 17
You couldn't have just worn a different white shirt for the time being? I'm sure it wouldn't have looked as obvious you were out of uniform..
kakarot26 7
kick his ass