Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML
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Top comments
Anonnamus 0
What's wrong with Bon Jovi?!?!?!
okieraider71 4
Give it a chance--He could have played Hannah Montana and put on a dress. Count your blessings!
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Comments (78)
Anonnamus 0
What's wrong with Bon Jovi?!?!?!
InCaged_Insanity 0
woah ohh were halfway there
Casey777 0
I agree with one!
the_boob 0
how can anyone NOT like Bon Jovi? ******' freaks.
sami1994 0
I have to agree Bon jovi is pretty awesome =] how did that ruin things???
livluvlaff8 0
yeah I'm with #1
iHyuMeng 0
"playing in the background" OP's boyfriend "Alright let's do this, you will finger yourself to my Bon Jovi music"
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed that Bon Jovi is not that bad. What were you hoping for - Barry Manilow? Besides, re-enact means to duplicate. Did you not get a copy of the script?
pepper3434 0
Eh... I wouldn't agree to anything at all lol
yourlifesfucked 0
bon jovi rocks, but its not the type of music id wanna get laid to. for instance, springsteen kicks ass, but its not that type of music, yknow?
zzyber 4
well of course they don't like Bon Jovi...they're French...they hate everything!!! FYL for being from France...
Pearljammer001 0
BON-JOVI=**** YES me loves "slippery when wet"
Pearljammer001 0
but in this case I guess it's more like "sticky when wet"
cater2U 0
so what he played a song by a band you're not into there's no fml here there's just a big whiny baby. why don't they have a stop whining button because that's what most of these fmls need
YOUbeTROLLIN 0
i think the person means that Bon Jovi is in no way related to what they were going to do so it ruined it when he started playing it.
WordsOfHope 0
Bon jovi sucks
thor89 0
Was it slippery when wet
Oathkeeper111 0
^best album ever
Pearljammer001 0
so true^^
StoryOfTheYear 15
I guess I know how she feels a little bit, I would leave right then and there if you put a lady gaga song playing, but nothing wrong with Bon jovi, bad taste
falluke17 0
28=win
AnonymousGalifrey 1
bitches be crazy
u_killed_kenny_ 0
what is wrong with Bon jovi? don't be a hater
apoll 0
Bon jovi sucks. if I was the op I would play eminem or usher
M4V3R1CKR13 0
#19 has a point but bon jovis not that bad
XYZzzzzzzz 0
And now there is something WRONG with BonJovi??? no. there is something wrong with YOU. ya
gotdapowa 0
whoa ho, we're livin' on a prayer!
deathcab7 0
bob marley . betterr (:
ilolaturfml 0
YDI for not liking bonjovi I mean who doesent like Bon jovi?
StoryOfTheYear 15
lol 98 :P bob marley and pornos don't mix
cater2U 0
28 OP isn't from France that's the default location.
infernofalcon 0
@101 Or do they!? I ****** the sheriff! but I didn't **** the deputy. No oh oooooh!
llcooljoey 0
she thought it was going to be fun but when Bon jovi started playing it was going to be super fun
ThatGuyWithHair 0
I love Bon Jovi songs(no ****). However, I wouldn't want to get laid to it. Barry White or Santana's Europa might be a great pick ;)
klbt123 0
ahahah! that's what I thought when I read it!! :P
kodi93 2
right whats wrong with bon jovi i like him
slappygecko 21
both of those guys suck...
TheFuckerofShit 16
OP, You Give Love a Bad Name.
fth_morgan 3
Are you dissing the Bon man bro!?D:
fth_morgan 3
Hahah then you've obviously never felt a ****** before cause there not stick.... Or atleast they shouldnt be.
okieraider71 4
Give it a chance--He could have played Hannah Montana and put on a dress. Count your blessings!
InCaged_Insanity 0
or he couldve played "**** in my pants" ...
kooner55 0
that's sounds pretty good to me
InCaged_Insanity 0
Ha . it's an epic song lol
srunano 4
**** in my pants ftw
Randomassdude 0
I would of gone with 1980s funk (: just saying
crailboyne 0
23 has a hot profile pic
MistyEyed05 4
beautiful picture of the horse.
slothlover66 0
Whoa, wait, I don't see how it got unfun.
maskedman 9
Bon Jovi hasn't made music for pornography since the eighties.
shakenbake93 0
I met Bon Jovi one time. he was really really short. it was pretty funny.
jetpackzach 5
haha yeah it is better than **** in my pants or bedrock
caittycat95 0
@40 1 word damn.
InCaged_Insanity 0
Pills make you look like the backstreet boys
puffer 0
so you're letting him watch **** in a relationship, go die in a hole troll
iHyuMeng 0
What's wrong with watching **** in a relationship?
Anonnamus 0
What's wrong with watching **** OUT of a relationship?
MQ_was_here 0
I'm with 14. No **** for my man unless it's for educational purposes. Jerking off? I think not. I like you, #14
Tikwichka 5
She deserves to die because she allows him to watch ****...can you explain your logic (or lack of) to me? What is wrong with anyone watching **** whilst in a relationship?
unFmyLife 0
I would have no problem with my bf watching ****. I don't see the big deal. He thinks I am testing him when I say this and claims he doesn't watch it since we started dating lol. I don't know whether he has or not but its weird that he would think I would get upset. However, it depends on how much of a jerk the boyfriend in question is. I have a friend ... well, more of an acquaintance and her bf is always comparing her to **** stars and making her feel bad about her body (and possibly technique, although she only mentioned looks to me) by saying things about her ass, boobs etc. So, yeah, if the guy was gonna be a jerk like that, I would be against it. But if its not harming anyone, then why not?
MQ_was_here 0
At #44: lol, I never said she deserved to die because she let her man watch **** while being in a relationship and nor do I think it's wrong to watch it. But I don't know why, I'm just not okay w/ my man watching another girl naked and getting a boner. I mean it's not the end of the world if he does but I'd prefer he not. Some relationships can handle it while others can't.
MQ_was_here 0
And #47: One reason I'm a bit "meh" when it comes to this: because of guys like your friends bf. Obviously not all guys are like that and infact, **** can be educational if you can move on from the fact that it's acting/makeup and a ton of plastic surgery but truthfully I don't understand why people in a relationship would need to watch ****. At least not for jerking-off purposes. And I may sound crazy but I hope that made a little bit sense, lol.
aylaa89 0
What's wrong with watching **** while in a relationship? I allow my boyfriend to do it, hell I'll even watch it with him. Stop being a bitch, I'm sure your boyfriend watches **** whether you know it or not.
MQ_was_here 0
Okay, thank you for allowing your stupidity to seep through. That is all.
talonbronson 0
haha, yeah, I would be extremely surprised if your boyfriend doesn't watch ****, MQ
Squander 3
Since my boyfriend and I got together, his **** watching habits went down, while the frequency of my **** watching went up. Neither of us have a problem with it (:
Tikwichka 5
MQ - Sorry, my post was a reply to #14
MQ_was_here 0
At #47: Surprisingly my dude totally understands why I'm not okay with it. Him and his friends were into it before and we've been together for a few years and we both are pretty up front about stuff and I assure you he doesn't watch ****. Not all guys do, especially once they're in a serious relationship. In fact, he himself likes that I dissaprove and prefers not to watch it. Shocking since I said it wouldn't be the end of the world if he did. I'll take that as a very good thing and call it a day.
MQ_was_here 0
Oops, my post is directed at #74, not #47. -_-
maskedman 9
MQ_was_dyslexic
mirkatsboss 0
your so hard for popping pills bro
SephoraSocialite 0
puffer what's wrong with watching **** and having "alone" time in a relationship? so long as it isn't excessive or in place of sex then it's a healthy thing. I still don't see this as a big deal OP- if you didn't ask about the scenario and agreed blindly to whatever he wants then just go through with doing this fantasy through for him. Not always about you- it's just a ******* song.
sourgirl101 29
In and out of love. Bon Jovi's the shit!!! Puts on a hell of a concert. Just change the music. What's the big deal? Thank you for coming.
thefmlman2011 37
Amen, I've seen him twice before, and both times (once with Richie, once without) he rocked the house down!