Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said, "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
So he let you know who he was, where he was, and what he was up to? He's a shit ninja, and a shit boyfriend. You're better off without him.
skippydoda 32
You may not be able to dodge ninja weapons but you dodged a bullet.
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Comments (20)
zuckerburg 21
Congrats! you were dating a 12 year-old
tounces7 28
That's technically assault.
Glowworm56 27
That is a really immature way to break up with someone.
ChakatBlackstar 29
That may be the most unique method I've ever heard of.
Jakab Péter 8
so i was doing break ups wrong in my whole life. there was serious conversations about feelings, past, present and future, plans, reasons and things like that, while i could just rent or order a ninja suit and do that in like 10 seconds.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Congratulations, you've just been dumped by a man child. Sorry, scratch that. You've just dodged a bullet (but not a shuriken).
Reckless87 7
That has to be the most epic breakup story I have ever read.
peterblack67 9
And you're upset to lose this moron??
randybryant799 21
Is your boyfriend 12?
Hangryko 32
Be glad to be free of the manchild.