meow
United States
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
bad sleeper
United States
Thrashing
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
chachi
United States
Hold me close
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Brinty
Australia
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Ames
United States
Don't make me choose
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML
JoanT
Kailua Kona, United States
Bed of nails
Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML
Carowl
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML
Anonymous
Nesoddtangen, Norway
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
laundry day again...
United States
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
nenette
France
Boo!
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Top comments
Mortgaged 0
That's funny! Hurtful but funny. I am the same way. I'm a thrasher. Maybe you should consider a sleep number bed?
CallMeHush 1
Well me and the rest of the football team did try to warn him...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (39)
CallMeHush 1
Well me and the rest of the football team did try to warn him...
mushoo_fml 0
He knows what it's like to sleep with a seizing cat? :O
yous_an_idiot 0
I don't see why that's a bad thing. You can't control your sleeping habits, and the fact that he's still with you shows that he cares a little bit about you, at the very least. Just like women, always trying to find the most negative of connotations in everything. Seriously, get some help.
Darrian 2
Hehe. I had a girlfriend like that once. Her snoring is what kept me awake at night, though.
Mortgaged 0
That's funny! Hurtful but funny. I am the same way. I'm a thrasher. Maybe you should consider a sleep number bed?
yous_an_idiot 0
Way to go with the advertising there, #17.
macman1033 0
what are you and this cat seizing? i dont think you know what that word means cause you definitely used that in the wrong context.
Twaffle 0
IDIOT LOL
Americunt 0
O I C. Sorry OP, FYL. Dump the twat.
facu 0
what on earth is a seizing cat? a cat having a seizure?
davidhasmorefun 0
this one is stupid. seriously. how does some of these get through?