Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML
Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML
Today, my husband is pissed off, withholding affection, and not speaking to me. Why? I don't want to have sex with random men while he watches. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML
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Top comments
009bouris 5
who is he supposed to explore it with then? I’m not saying to do everything he wants but like nothing no compromise?
sirrubberduckie 37
So you got to explore whatever you wanted, and he never got the chance, and now you have him locked down so he can never try any of the stuff he's interested in? That sounds like an awesome relationship. That's an FML all right, but for him.
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Comments (8)
009bouris 5
who is he supposed to explore it with then? I’m not saying to do everything he wants but like nothing no compromise?
poopface82 25
Maybe at least hear him out. Maybe it’s something you would like too.
sirrubberduckie 37
So you got to explore whatever you wanted, and he never got the chance, and now you have him locked down so he can never try any of the stuff he's interested in? That sounds like an awesome relationship. That's an FML all right, but for him.
galwen 18
It’s not her fault he missed his chance. He had a life before her just the same. Sorry mate, she is not your sex toy
easybree 10
idk why you wouldn’t at least try with him. he is your husband after all…
angus 17
You became boring, and he married you thinking otherwise.
angus 17
That’s a recipe for infidelity and divorce right there
jtookie 1
it is perfectly fine you don’t want to but your relationship is pretty much over it’s o ly a matter of time before he finds someone willing to engage with him. my wife and I have a rule with kinks which is as long as it isn’t illegal doesn’t go against or morals or sexual preference we will give it a try at least. if it ends up not being great for both of us then we scrap it but we try to accommodate each other in the bedroom.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
That last sentence pretty much sealed the fate of your marriage. Sure, he's not entitled to your body whenever or however he wants, but if you're not willing to compromise with something(s) you two are both comfortable with, then it's only a matter of time before divorce papers come flying.