Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
We're men. We don't waste food.
lolmigosh 15
Talk about a yummy burger!
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Comments (304)
GoW_Chick 15
If it was a double bacon cheeseburger he gets a pass... Bacon before hoes!
CaptainPickles72 18
Bacon>Bros>Hoes
R3TROxLOV3 32
*sigh* the stupidity...
CaptainPickles72 18
193-You know this is a comedy website, right? Learn to take a joke! There is a huge difference between saying stupid thing to make a joke, like I did, and actually being an idiot and saying your natural idiotic things.
CRC_101 31
I wish I could thumb this up much more than once.
DocBastard 40
You should have said, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" No, he just wanted to finish his burger before he porked you. Don't have a beef with him over that. It's mutton to get upset over.
jonriise18 3
No! That's a bad DocBastard!
DaKillaMafia 2
I'd say "big boy gotta eat".
Wildhunter16 3
Food > Sex.
dumboears 8
You've obviously never had sex.
downtime 13
You've obviously never gone without food...
gluesniff3r 3
You obviously haven't been in a position where you are starving and your life is at stake
geod69 8
Love it
Jewnut 0
I think he made the right choice
dcg1375 7
He apparently wanted his burger before having a taco.
RinaVampire31 18
It's pretty obvious he was going to choose his burger..
Hustlasaurus 9
Stupid stupid stupid
uallsuckbitches 0
I bet that ur bf is more that 100 kg
behemoth198 0
No shit sherlock.
marissamay25 3
I've walked out in the living room before in my bra and panties while my bf was playing battlefield and he looked at me, back at the game and said "after this game baby, I'm on a roll". It's pretty funny :D
meben 0
Yea when your on a role it's hard to quit in the middle of a game.
marissamay25 3
He plays the online and really gets into it lol, it's fun to watch him play tho
kile88 2
Aw that's really cute
marissamay25 3
(: Thank you