Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had peed all over my coffee table, and more specifically on my laptop, completely ruining it. When I confronted her, she looked at me with what I can only describe as a smug expression, as if to say, "You're not the boss of me." FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
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Top comments
eyebrowzzz 21
What grown man brings their cat to work
Jasim 17
It would be a shame if someone left the door open.
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Comments (45)
acommonman 23
he brought the cat to his office to compensate for the lack of of actual pussy in his life. stay clear of this cat, OP; it's not yours to take care of. hopefully your boss will be reprimanded for breaking the rules.
RobinGoodfellow 47
I have no idea what #4's comment is getting at but I find it inexplicably funny.
Saltypumpking 12
Sounds like my boss.. all aboard the feels train, no stops
acommonman 23
stay clear of the cat, OP. it's a nuisance, and is probably a compensation for your boss's lack of a certain something.
voltroz 18
No one can tame the spawn of hell!!!
NamelessFace 22
That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
newzealand 28
You're sure #27 ? and not the penis in a milk bottle FML before this one?
feven 32
How long was your boss in the bathroom for the cat to be able to do all that?
teentee401 37
Is your boss' name Angela by any chance?
buymevickis92 26
I'm a cat person but honestly they are assholes. why in the world did your boss bring it to work in the first place? I feel bad for you op.
mattyiscool123 26
You're not supposed to if he didn't tell you to, so you can't get the blame
False_Stupidity 42
Even if the boss had asked OP, he could say that its not part of his job description and that cat-sitting incurs an additional fee of $30 per hour charged in 1 hour increments.
HyunnK 18
That is like saying, "Cleaning after myself was never in my job description." But I get what you are saying since it is related to OP