Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML
Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML
Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that, "Old people are allowed to tell the truth." FML
Today, man do I feel old. For the first time ever, a teen thug with more acne spots than brain cells told me to, “Piss off grandad.” Grandad? Guess I look older than I feel. FML
Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML
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Top comments
jayennachristine 23
Holy functioning penis batman!
sturschaedel 27
Well, good for him!
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Comments (68)
flocket 13
Wow my grandfather is older than your great grandfather...
GhostFox 34
Good for him, but why did he feel the need to share?
decoydualist 10
As long as he doesnt try and show you..
tiredofwaiting 25
Well he has a point.
parkhouse63 11
Add this to the list "things you don't want to hear from your grandfather"
indigohippopo 20
If you're a guy he was probably just trying to give you hope for the future. In a crazy ol grandpa way...
DeadHorseman 11
wow, your great grandfather is only 82 years old? i'm guessing every generation in your family had kids early
martin8337 36
And when his pecker stops working, that's where viagra and cialis are needed.
pjsr 33
Talk about a "great" grandpa! If yours works as well at 82, you'll be thanking God for the good bloodline every time you blow a load - and probably be bragging to your great grandson!
PePziNL 20
As a Peter, I hate that word when referring to penises. Well at least I'm not called Dick.