Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog ate my little brother's medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML
Today, my older, pill-addicted brother, came over to visit with me. After he left, I realized all my Vicodin was gone. I got my wisdom teeth removed two hours ago. FML
Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML
Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML
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Top comments
whatthefreshhell 15
At least the kids he sold it to won't get heartworms.
Draxanoth 15
Well to be fair, 90% of high school kids are bitches anyway...
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Comments (68)
perdix 31
"Dude, you got any more of that shit? When we took it, all we wanted to do was lick our own balls and sniff each other's asses."
death943 10
Wonder what Redpillsucks would think..
RedPillSucks 33
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. You take the reddish pink pill - you're able to lick your balls and you'll have a luxurious coat.
finch01 18
better than your birth control pills
implastikz 7
kids barking in school is prohibited
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Tell them he wants to be a pharmacist.
The_Thinker 18
I'm afraid to tell you that your brother... just isn't cut out for a profession in pharmaceuticals. However, the fact that he was seemingly able to get a number of dumb teenage ***** to buy dog medicine shows that he may have a bright future as a telemarketer.
thekidracb 7
How exactly is this an FML. Seems like his life is f'ed, not yours.
laden_swallow09 35
Drugs are bad, mmkay?
iamthunder 4
That explains all the School Kids with shiny hair I have been seeing this past week!
RedPillSucks 33
The sad thing is that he probably knew it was dog medicine and he could have even told the kids he was selling it to. I've seen kids eat dog treats and other weird shit. SMH
ckcortez 10
Your username goes great with this FML.
_DudeGuy_ 16
46, I was always kind of assuming, but not that I have an account I'll ask. Is your name a Matrix reference?
RedPillSucks 33
Yes