Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Top comments
skinthesnakes 6
Did you not "wand" it?
apache316 6
Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.
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Comments (397)
DeeMillzee 4
The FML at hand doesn't give us enough context. If the OP doesn't like Harry Potter, etc, then screw the boyfriend. But if she does, and was just getting her hopes up, then it's kinda her fault for being slightly selfish...
blackjewels 2
Are you dating a 12 year old??? Dump him and get a real man hun ;)
FluffyNinjaBunny 6
what are u FMLing about, that's AWESOME!!!
kemando 22
Says the guy with the deathly hallows as a profile picture. lol
TiannaRama 1
Dude, I'd much rather have a wand than a necklace. consider yourself lucky.
ispt3ch 2
Wow no spell check on THAT app ;)
erikath0mas998 4
I would love to have the wand. Harry potter forever
rciccone 0
use the wan to poof a new boyfriend! ^_^
QueenPerrywinkle 1
I would love it if someone gave me a wand :)
zehbruh 16
I'll trade you a necklace for the wand! It's nice that he thought of something original :)
MaeganSmiles 2
... How is this FML?? I would been like "Marry me!"