Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Top comments
skinthesnakes 6
Did you not "wand" it?
apache316 6
Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.
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Comments (397)
Guru_Gal 12
In what way is this an FML, you muggle?! P.S.: Has anyone else ever thought that Hufflepuff is basically the reject house? Griffindor are the brave ones, Ravenclaw are the smart ones and Sliverin are the "pure"/"evil" ones. Hufflepuff is everyone else.
mekachikiku 8
You got a wand?! That's awesome! But that's also sad...sorry :(
blink_kid 32
I don't understand. This is awesome.
Cass_x 22
A Harry Potter wand? :D omg you're sooooo lucky if it was! :o
aliseodactyl 20
that's better
TheSn1p3r3790 4
but does it work?
allisurd 17
Yer a wizard, Harry.
XQuartzX 15
Hey. You never know, playing with wands could be fun.. Maybe act out harry potter. (or not)
dragoongirl90 34
And?
Dynamite73 25
You're complaining?!