Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML
Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
Nsc 0
You should go outside in a ski mask, then. That's not nearly as suspicious.
Aviva1313 0
Have you been having blackouts?
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Comments (294)
Fallaway 0
I was also going to mention the Always Sunny episode. FMSL.
Otium_fml 3
Ouch, unlucky or what.
Lobster_fml 0
Ohhh, shit.
julia07_fml 0
lmfao im sorry but thats halerious
bigmister 0
Why to suck at spelling.
Kimmy3214 9
*lmfao! I'm sorry, but that's hilarious.* H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. Spell it right, and punctuate it right. Bad grammar will lead people to think that you are an imbecile.
Callinebo 10
learn how to spell
xMooMoox 0
Maybe you sleep rape? Don't worry they'll catch the guy soon, unless its you. On a serious note if this really happened it would suck really bad, I would definitely call the police on you. Ironically this guy just got out of jail after serving 10 or so years. He got ID'd by the victim and he looked just like the real guy. The victim and him are friends and now have written a book (Picking Cotton, his last/first name is Cotton). I could definitely see why she picked him out, but why he would befriend her I'm not sure? Gee I'm full of trivia!
WhatANoob 0
...What?
ninjanate 0
xD
featherhead 0
ahaha, painful.
pleocavee 0
why would you be afraid to leave the house? even if you're taken in for questioning, unless you aren't innocent, you should be fine, in theory i guess.
Superhero_Girl 0
Haha! Watch the It's Sunny in Philadelphia episode about this exact topic. It's hilarious. And I just read above my comment that other people also mentioned that show. Oh well! I'll just reinforce it.
xxchrissy18 0
ahahaha i like #9
ZH13 0
laughed at #2 #22 is totally right