Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML
Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML
Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
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Top comments
Spadiethestar 0
Aouch.. poor you.. Well at least you know where you stand with this worm of a man.... And, btw, sorry to have to say that, but get yourself checked for STD, such a loser may have fooled around without protection...
z620 0
don't worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright
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Comments (215)
Shroomsteroo 0
Bob marley is awesome, and your BF is not. Hope he gets the syphilis.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
did you at least throw them off the mountain afterwards? you shouldve just sat next to them haha talk about awkward.
Zog21 0
#91- You have to be the dumbest person ever.... EVER.... The FML Implies that the person in the bush was her boyfriend.... are you just semi-retarded or just straight Downes? I hope you die tonight to rid the world of another stupid person. Sorry to hear that your boyfriend is not only a cheating bastard..... but an uncreative dater as well.
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
Shenanifuckingins there is no way you just decided to call your boyfreind because you saw two people having sex in a bush.
Equinox987 0
Now that's pretty harsh!
laupow89 4
#86 I believe the real "arrogant jerks" are those who presume to know more about the personal life of the OP than, say, the OP herself.
rakhil11 7
if that is true, i deeply sympathize.
rocket9 0
33 yeah do not try man that is ******
SublatePandemic 0
oh my. that's REALLY unfortunate. :(
sweetiepeach 0
wow