Health: Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered...

There is this new type of cleansing bar, its called soap. No seriously, just use it with a bit of water and it gets rid of that gym-sock stench under your arms. Quite revolutionary, I must say.

Youd_laugh_2 0

Monday 14 December 2009 23:52

If you can't find the shower how could you find the doctor?

quackquackquac 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 0:07

I saw this in Mad magazine (i don't really know what it's called... i just randomly picked it up at the library.)

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Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 145

You deserved it 14 908

Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 151

You deserved it 2 542

Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 586

You deserved it 38 466

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 305

You deserved it 40 672

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 262

You deserved it 634

Today, I asked my best friend, who I love, what his new girlfriend has that I don’t. I've gone the extra mile, did favors, been there at his highest and lowest for about a year and a half, yet he rejected me and chose a girl who he’s merely known 5 months. Apparently a slim waist and perky boobs/butt matters more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 720