Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML
Today, I left work early because I had a dentist appointment. I got to the clinic, checked in, and sat down. Ten minutes later, the receptionist asked why I was there. My appointment is next Wednesday. I had taken the afternoon off for nothing. FML
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML
Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment and walked into what looked like the clinic but it was a dental lab. Two technicians were polishing dentures so I asked where Dr. Patel’s office was. They pointed me down a corridor as if it explained why I’d just sat in their reception reading outdated magazines for 5 minutes. FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
The tooth hurts.
perdix 31
When they tell you to open your mouth, you shouldn't start flicking your tongue around while bursting into tears. Do one or the other, but not both.
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Comments (138)
badam_fml 6
Take the hint stop hitting on everything.
supportcommand 17
Don't be such a freaking sissy and show up on time. YDI.
DocBastard 40
And dentists wonder why everyone hates them...
Ugi 27
Doc, I think that might be because they mercilessly wield savage implements in our intimate cavities. Not that it hurts to be polite, but I'm not sure that will fix the "hate" issue!
firemedic841 11
58-they are better than what surgeons use. Have you ever seen a rib spreader used? Never mind the tools ortho docs use. Hammers, chisels, drills, bone saws. My IO gun is nothing in comparison.
perdix 31
That bites!
Enslaved 38
Are they correct, OP? ***Damn! Now I'm super courious what my dentist file says about me? I've also been going to my dentist a very long time.
EyesofStone 27
That was unnecessary, 28. Enslaved has a clean grammar record, and nobody likes a grammar nazi.
perdix 31
#60, Grammar and spelling are two different things. While Enslaved uses good grammar, her spelling is not perfect. We don't have to go "Nazi" on her spelling, but she may need a little "tough love" sometimes. Missing "curious" by one letter is not one of those times.
EyesofStone 27
I'm aware. I just thought I'd go with the more comonly used term, lest people think I'm trying to be a pompous dick. XD I think I've seen that exact debate in an older FML. To the other n00bs here: Learn from those who have come before.
BlowinChronic 18
I would tell you to do something to freak them out next visit, but I think it's time to just leave that place. They are obviously unprofessional and you shouldn't have to pay a company that makes fun of you behind your back, I'm sure you can find another place to take your business.
JustKittyKat 24
Show up on time (which means be a half hour early), stop flirting with the poor people trying to work, and man up. Also, you should probably shower. Edit: Stop snooping, too.
foshizzle82 7
What's showering got to do with it?
griffy14 9
Thirty minutes early? That's a bit excessive, some of us do actually have schedules to keep. Oh and FYI, it's not snooping if it is HIS medical record. He has every right to view it.
Nabee143 3
59 You would think that you're allowed to look at your own record but sadly you are not. I previously worked at Kaiser Permanente and patients were never allowed to look at their own records unless the doctor showed them. Even employees were not allowed to look up their own records. If you got caught, you would be fired!
griffy14 9
Actually, according to HIPAA, your medical provider MUST allow you access to your medical files and provide you information on obtaining copies of those files. The reason it was grounds for firing was because you were using your privileges as an employee to access files.
JustKittyKat 24
59, I was raised that being early was on time. It's polite, businesslike, and opens for any complications or paperwork. Most people do schedule so they may be early. It's common courtesy to everyone I know. I'm sorry if you feel otherwise.
firemedic841 11
You are allowed to look at your own medical records if you request them. You, as an employee of a healthcare organization are not allowed to pull up your own records or family members records without correct authorization.
courtz94 24
Personal opinions at work shouldn't be voiced in that manner.
ebonyirony 29
There is a reason it is called a "personal opinion".
salsera13 7
Also, it wasn't voiced. It was written on HER computer. He was the one snooping.
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
At least now your one up on them. Next time they ask about your family.. Well idk, im sure you can cum up with some sexual dentist enuendo. Have fun with it!
Grimmerie 31
When you tell your parents you love them do you add "no incest?" No? Then don't say "no lesbo/****".