Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Little shit
Today, I gave a toast at my close friend's wedding. The bride's little cousin snuck up behind me and unzipped my dress. As I ended my speech with, "To a night we will never forget!", my dress fell all the way down. I was quick. People's phones were quicker. Well, they won't forget my undies. FML
A day to remember
Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
Toasted
Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML
Kinda brought it onto yourself
Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML
Not now
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Technique
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML
My life is a romcom
Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
Future pimp
DatDappyDde 0
do the same in his wedding.
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Comments (140)
IMveryHUNGRY 3
Early bird! I still haven't mastered the unclipping..
CitrusGirl 0
Bras are designed to keep boys out.
chaoskiwi 0
hahahaha true Tht
sarahsarahsarahs 0
takes practice hehe
Imthedaddy11 16
#107, not really it's a simple matter of squeeze and release
thatnucca 36
I know some guys out that would like to take some lessons from your boy OP... Suave!
egamage 0
Respect.
m4tt88 0
wish i had been there!
dellama10 0
*while I WAS holding. Mistake I've seen in tons of fmls and drives me insane. Speak in complete ******* sentences.
jennifer93 0
"while holding" makes sense...if you're gonna be a grammar Nazi at least be good at it
hockeyrocks39 0
Hahahahahahaha... *THIS IS A mistake... according to your writing style. "While holding" is perfect. Hmmmm.... so it really pisses you off when someone just says "A$$hole" you'd much rather prefer You're an A$$hole!
guckylynn 19
Actually the I was isn't necessary since it's implied by the sentence. The while holding my son works perfectly fine/
fucmylifealot 0
just fyi, it was typed and not spoken. and everyone will do that once you aren't a ****. so it'll never happen.
goshpeople 4
#41, I completely understand. Anyone who knows much of anything about English grammar would know that you are correct. It's just disheartening that so many people replied and made themselves look utterly foolish. "While holding" would only be correct if the OP had followed that up with an "I" after the comma. Instead, she made the sentence wrongly appear to express that her son was holding himself (or some other "him"). Are people really this stupid?
OhMeShell 3
#80, THANK YOU! Good God. WHILE READING THESE COMMENTS, I wondered if any of the posts I might read in response to #41 would actually be written by someone who knew anything about English. Please don't correct peoples' grammar if your correction is not right! The sentence that OP wrote does imply that her four year old son was holding himself. She should have wrote "while I was", but NOT because "while holding my son" is always incorrect. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, as I haven't been in an English class in quite some time: The way she wrote the sentence implies that "he" (the four year old son) is the subject of the sentence, because she didn't introduce herself as the subject. "While I was holding my four year old son, he...", clearly introduces OP as the subject, and her son as the object of the sentence. I could totally be wrong in using the words subject and object, maybe I'm using them backwards. Who knows. I don't know what certain pieces of sentences are called anymore. I can't break down a sentence for you in the right terms. But I can speak and write English without looking like a moron. That's all that matters. Either way, all that I'm saying is that she didn't differentiate two people in the sentence. It could have been anyone holding her son while her son unfastened her dress. She could have been holding her son while some other "he" unfastened the dress. Unless it's written correctly, we don't know. Oh, yes, I DID just spend all of that time analyzing an FML... Shit. FML.
sarahsarahsarahs 0
honestly?! stop being grammar police! no one gives a rats a$$ so duck it up and stop complaining
shutterbug1190 14
Well, at-least the bride and groom now have a story to tell. How the heck did your son manage to do that? lol
Jemmy_fml 0
cute hahaha
KaanTech 0
smart kid
khaya 9
So he is allowed to take the money from the collection bowl. I mean they did get a show.
jacalame 0
future man hoe haha