Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son and his girlfriend cancelled their wedding and eloped because they were sick of my ex-wife being a Monster-in-law. The last straw was when she called the dress shop and tried to cancel the wedding dress because it “made her look like a slut.” Now I missed seeing my son get married. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML
Today, my bestie had me kicked out of her wedding the day of. All because I altered my bridesmaid's dress without telling her. She knows I hate fabric against my legs. FML
Today, at our wedding, my wife screamed at her niece and made a big scene about her wearing a white dress. Her niece is four. FML
Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML
Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML
Today, I was the Maid of Honor at my friend's wedding. Months earlier, we had a bitter fight, but she picked out a beautiful dress for me and I thought we were past it. When I began speaking, the lights changed to a weird brightness and my friend snickered. My dress was completely see-through. FML
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
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Top comments
scorpz 11
You are a horrible person.
Chazzster 32
Once your children are adults, you don’t control them. Trying to do so just makes you toxic. You deserved the spill.
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Comments (14)
scorpz 11
You are a horrible person.
Chazzster 32
My exact thoughts!
Chazzster 32
Once your children are adults, you don’t control them. Trying to do so just makes you toxic. You deserved the spill.
mike3775 39
You deserved it. I hope your dress is ruined. If you don’t like the girl, just don’t go to the wedding. All you accomplished is your now daughter in law and son despise you now. If you had done that to me, that would also be the last time you ever saw me for the rest of your life
Jall8089 9
I don’t know if your dislike is justified or not. I would hope you’d know that you raised your child well enough that you could trust their judgement. If it’s something petty, get over it because you’ll be hurting yourself. My husband’s mother HATED me and refused to attend our wedding and never met her only grandchildren - because I’m a Lutheran and she wanted him to marry a Catholic. She was wrong about me and missed out on getting to know me and on being part of her son’s life and her grandchildren’s’ lives. If your dislike IS justified and she’s bad news, you want your relationship to stay intact and be there for him when it’s over. You can only lose when you fight an adult child over their partner.
Dumbum123 19
You are a toxic ****-nut and I honestly hope your son cuts you out of his life.
stickyface 17
Good. It wasn't about you and your preferences and it still isn't. Buy a new dress, you narcissist twit.
poopface82 25
I’m 99% sure you’re way out of line, but I suppose there’s a reason for your dislike of her. But since you didn’t say what it was, it’s probably a shitty reason, so I suggest going to a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for 500mg of Get The Hell Over It.
Plcx 8
I am wondering who’s the stupidest person: you or her. As a toxic mother you win hands down
BurnInDemonFire 39
Allow me to translate: "Today, my son ignored my jealousy and married a woman I hate but he loves. I won't bother to tell you what these red flags I see in her are, but the shit hit the fan when the Maid of Honor pretended to trip and spill red wine all over the white dress my attention-seeking ass was wearing. Instead of discussing the issues I have with my son, my bitch-ass ego decided to piss and moan online to strangers. FML."
Racer88Socal 4
You're a horrible person to wear white to your son's wedding.