Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
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Top comments
CleverOne 0
Shoulda had a V8
GreenRupee 0
Oh my god, are you dead?!
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Comments (88)
GreenRupee 0
Oh my god, are you dead?!
ILIEKGIRLS 5
because people can post what just happened to them on the internet when they're dead. :/
v1kt4r 13
i think that was a joke, get a sense of humour
bridgette5866 0
...are generally incredibly clever!
airninja 2
You've gotta be ******** me... an orange? I hope it wasn't one of those radioactive oranges that are known to fall from the second story of most malls.
ZleveL 0
yeah the ones that scout for targets, request permission to take the shot from baseplate, then go in for the kill and parachute down, slap the persons forehead, then get taken away by Little Bird helicopters. Orange- *we got a confirmed kill* baseplate command- *Roger that Orange 2-1-7*
CleverOne 0
Shoulda had a V8
chefky14 0
haha could not stop laughing at this comment and picturing it in my head lmfaoo
davex 0
LOL win!! (@ 4)
westofwhatever 0
If that is the stuff that ruins your life, you really haven't lived much have you.
mzbabygurl97 0
wow
mzbabygurl97 0
LMFAO
ElMundio87 0
Ohhh so you're that guy that cried when I lobbed an orange at a crowded elevator. Hahaha.
lifeproblem 0
how the hell is that an FML? its an accident, get over it.
TheSuitGuy 0
OMG! An orange hit you? Jesus Christ, stop the presses! This is front page news! We need to set up a charity for this poor, poor- Man, what the hell is wrong with you? An orange hit you. Big. *******. Deal. Get over it. YDI for being a total wimp.
BeeSkwaird 0
What irks me is how he starts the FML with completely unrelated whining about how tired he was. OP, you weren't shopping "all night." The mall isn't open all night! What are you, 10? I bet you are.
khung835 6
A lot of ppl line up from 10PM since the mall opens at 12. btw, eat that orange!
fotc77 0
lol number 4. how does that happen?