Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
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Top comments
catharsis5 9
Aww... She loves you.
pronounciations 5
Cool mom.
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Comments (197)
datoismyname 22
If she does that again be like " I do not know this woman!!"
conqueror57 11
Your inability to write a clear, concise FML while staying in one tense leads me to believe, like your mother, that you shouldn't be allowed out in public alone. You aren't the brightest bulb on the strand.
tingway 4
don't you guys have a cell phone
Life_sucks_13 6
Lol this reminds me of the time I walked to a different aisle in the store and my mom had basically every person looking for me.
kyliebear 15
You're a bit old for that but at least she cares. :)
hateevryone 15
oh wow. doesn't she realize you're a bit too old for that?
RazorbacksHogs13 0
Protective much???
HaileyCocopop 0
It could have been a creepy guy that found you, so it could have been worse.
skyeyez9 25
My mom is like this too, freaks out.if I wander off anywhere. However, I was nearly kidnapped when I was 6 right in front of my house by a child rapist. She hasn't been the same since....and I am grown now.
siberianhamster 17
Until your mother sees you with kids of your own, she will always see you as her helpless 2 yr old.