Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML
Today, I had to babysit my dying grandmother, so I brought up my guitar. She hadn't said anything to anyone today, and the first thing and only thing she said was, "Stop. Make it stop" to me when I played. FML
Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML
Today, I finally had enough to buy my dream guitar, made in 1965. I buckled it into the passenger seat because it unfortunately didn't come with the original case. Once home, I tripped over my own feet before reaching my front door and scratched it on the concrete. It wasn't in mint condition when I bought it, but now it looks like it had a bad relic job. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML
Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her mother bought a hanger for my $2000 guitar as a birthday present. They wanted to surprise me by hanging it on the wall. They screwed it upside down, so before I came home it fell off and my guitar broke. FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
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Top comments
iWanna_fml 0
wowwww. tell her that she owes u the money for it now xD
mycleverusername 0
I don't think Grandma's familiar with the Golden Rule. I say you steal her knitting needles. That'll show her.
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Comments (247)
paivarotti 0
paint stigmata signs on her while she's asleep. Also, make a crucifix out of 2 *****'s and leave it by her bed; just to see what she does.
ruckerpark364 0
maybe your terrible play was killing her...did she throw holy water on you?
spiderman0606 0
Dude, everyone knows the devil plays the violin. Tell your grandmother to get with the program.
allie2590 31
I agree with 14. Your playing must suck. Also, advise your grandma not to cut the strings if she doesn't want to lose an eye. Guitar strings can be pretty dangerous.
tukker 0
as long as you're not in Georgia playing the fiddle, the devil will leave you alone
spiderman0606 0
Hey, I've heard he plays the banjo too. Guess everyone's a little hick at heart.
TheLoneWolf87 4
Wrong its the Fiddle Futurama FTW.
tukker 0
Charlie Daniel Band FTW
im_da_man 5
???
spaz3322 0
PATTON OSWALT IS THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and so insightful.
coolster56 0
fiddle or bagpipes not violin
Chocolate_Chunk 2
He plays a mean didgeridoo!
epicwinmaster 0
oh boohoo, just buy new strings. if she broke the guitar, then thats a different story. R.I.P. Les Paul
beaverteeth92 0
Get Elixir strings. They're expensive, but they're supposed to last like forever.
Ricrad 11
Elixir strings may last ages, but that waterproof coating won't stop grandma and her wire-cutters.
myballs 0
The hell? My hyper-conservative baptist grandmother wouldn't even do that. Hell, I was in the same room with her when my cousins were blaring heavy ******* metal. Even my great grandmother was there.
DameGreyWulf 1
I say this is an FML because his grandma is psycho. Just think... this is only her "first warning." The next time, she'll snap the neck...
nekroseftychia 9
Yeah I agree w / 25 seriously its not like she broke your guitar just buy strings their liek a bit more than 5 $ dollars a pack and your probably have some spares anyways
f_alltheirlives 3
So let me get this straight.... Guitar strings are about 5 dollars a pack? JESUS, why do every person on fml repeat the same point over and over again???? 90% of the comments on this site is identical to the comment before...