Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Arse!
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML
Frozen
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Believe her next time
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Drunk mom
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
Let's get you home Grandma
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Heavy load
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
How soon is now?
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Top comments
AnthonyCS5 19
Why in the hell would you sit there and watch that?!?!? I would have looked away immediately at the sight of something suspicious!
zainman13 26
Wait till you find out the secret ingredient to all her special cooking. Love I tell you, it's love!
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Comments (22)
finalyearsofhate 22
What doesn't kill you... gives you Enough. coli?
finalyearsofhate 22
E. coli. damn autocorrect!
superluous1987 6
well that is definitely a shitty situation
Zachary8261 28
Why did you look, first off?!
RockPrincess26 16
Your mother is one NASTY woman!
species4872 20
Now that's a cracking good story.
acmariner99 25
Butt ... what if I think it's full of sh!t?
redlizzybeth 25
You didn't state your age or hers. If she is an older individual and this is a new behaviour then you need to talk to her medical provider about sudden strange behaviour. If she is not older and just had a ..... ughhh.... lapse in judgment, then maybe gently mention that you saw something and then tell her what you saw... but do so respectfully and politely. Then just let her know that it upset you and say nothing else. I wish you the best of luck in this uncomfortable situation.
Colon_Man 17
"Yo, Ma! I didn't know you were a crack dealer."
interesting33 37
your name makes this even better
Tiffany Marie Theresa 3
Does she often have accidents? Like WTF!?!?
interesting33 37
my mum often does things i consider very unhygienic like not washing hands after sneezing. i feel your pain