Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie, my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely look like the Antichrist, and I'm a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, on Xmas Eve, my eight-year-old and ten-year-old children and I sat down to watch 'Mr. Stink', an Xmas film about a scruffy, stinky tramp. When he first appeared on screen my children both exclaimed in unison, "He looks like you, dad!" FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML
Today, I saw the cutest baby watching a show with my Dad. After commenting how cute she was, my Dad goes on to say, "Yeah, most babies are cute. Except you, you looked like a lizard." FML
Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
You should stand over him while he sleeps and speak in tongues, then have a seizure on the floor. He'll never make that mistake again.
sjks 0
key phrase 'when you were little' I'm pretty sure if you still looked like the anti-christ he would have said so or not said anything at all
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Comments (94)
klx125cross 9
How is this an FML?
ChuckFricknTesta 14
Every time you walk in the door play Ave Satani (the song from the omen)