Noname
Canada
Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Netfliiiiiiiiix
Today, I binge-watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting and now I'm not sure what day it is. FML
happyharriet
United States
Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML
Beatrix
Canada
Procrastinating my life away
Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML
smokecloud_
Ashland, United States
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
stampslife
Agassiz, Canada
Delays expected
Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML
Anonymous
United States
Square eyes
Today, I received a notification that my phone screen time was down by 40% this week. I was incredibly proud of myself until I remembered I'd spent most of the week watching TV instead. FML
Miko
United States
Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML
ayw329
United States
Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML
I'm dad
San Diego, United States
Like father, like son
Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML
Anonymous
Was it that recent one about Waco?
Today, I tried to be a responsible adult and went to bed early. I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep, so I binge-watched a whole season of a show on Netflix. It was a terrible fucking show as well. FML
Top comments
NorfolkDude 2
You have to remember that actors have a certain persona and in no way reflect how they are as a person. So even though Jack Bauer gets "more action" than you, it probably isn't the way he acts in person. So just remember movies/shows = fake.
Rodin_fml 0
Get real, he's not.
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Comments (26)
NorfolkDude 2
You have to remember that actors have a certain persona and in no way reflect how they are as a person. So even though Jack Bauer gets "more action" than you, it probably isn't the way he acts in person. So just remember movies/shows = fake.
Speech_fml 0
I'd say Kiefer probably gets more action than him IRL given that he's a famous movie star from a famous family starring in his own hit TV show. Even THEN it's still not a vary good FML. I submit: Today, I learned that both Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain have gotten more action than me. FML Yeah, my heart bleeds.
Rodin_fml 0
Get real, he's not.
redonkulon 2
Isn't that the point?
PandaBear_fml 0
hes jack bauer, you dont stand a chance. he cured cancer... in 24 hours.lol.FYL
strawberrymilksh 0
hahahaha i second the nip/tuck comment...you'll feel like hell.
hellabella_fml 0
#1.. It's Hollywood #2.. It's scripted= fake
ashes2ashes 0
i third the nip/tuck comment. you would feel like killing yourself after watching that show if you think that jack bauer gets more girls than you.
Ikasu 0
Today, some asshole gave away critical details about 24. FML
IamSpartacus 0
Jack Bauer is a BEAST. But seriously, you can't talk about Jack without the words bomb, terrorist, or (deadly) virus, in the same sentence.