Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrsUchiha 0
The best thing you can do is move on.. I mean there's no way this ****** up your life. You and your hubby know you're not fat so that's all that matters. Congrats on the baby. :)
astro_plastic 0
Train your baby to be a ninja assassin and come see that guy again in a few more months.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
Gabbiegummies 4
yeah you can use pregnrncy as your excuse
Badass94 0
Umm no big deal if u were not pregnant then thats a big FML and a HUGE INSULT but u are so w/e
honestlove11 0
I like your random pic of christofer drew.. :)
Lichinamo 33
I just muffled about a bazillion jabillion screams when I saw your pic. Christofer Drew kicks MAJOR ASS.
uxoriouswidow 0
You can be fat *and* pregnant, perhaps the whole story isn't being told here.
Philosophic 0
Biotch slap him. Than find his mom, and pimp slap him.
WtfLoser 13
Pff .. Who cares bout him? ;D I mean, honestly .. >.> He's just selling pills? (: & Chin ups :D
yuhhkno 0
haha no big deal i wouldnt feel bad(:
theboss747 0
you should have said "f*** you ass**** I'm seven months pregnant!
Eddie_Paints 0
Op you wrote "tired to sell me some". I think you mean...Tried. Oh no! Does this mean Snicker's rubbing off on me??
mandy_Reeves 0
my husband would've gave him a hilariously long lecture about how the guy needs a better job, but because of the economy and republican pigs we are all doing what we can to find work...then he would've told him to find jesus and the guy would end up punching himself in the face to get away from my husband....THAT is how I deal with those who piss me off. My husband talks at them to death.
Lichinamo 33
I take offense to the 'Republican pig' comment. What, just because we have certain views, it's specifically OUR problem that this economy is terrible? We just believe that you shouldn't rely on the government for more than a year. My father used to work in a supermarket years ago, and he would see people drive up in nice cars, wearing expensive clothes, and pick out food you'd pick for a holiday, then pay for it with foodstamps. That's what happens when you rely on the government for food and use the money you SHOULD be using on food for pleasures. I have an aunt who doesn't want the government's help and she can barely support herself.
Texaporte 3
I hope you tore that guy a new one.