Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ActionFearo 39
It'd probably be best if you jumped in after it.
pizzzah 9
how does a bullet even feel like a rock
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
Jellybellybeanz 22
Hope you know how to scuba dive!! But seriously OP that sucks....It totally sounds like something I would so though lol
Jellybellybeanz 22
*do
abusch 9
Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet, look before you leap, and dive straight into the deep end..
Witchylady 18
So did you get busted by the teacher ?
letsgooo_fml 23
Sounds like you fired the wrong shot.
zaise_chsa 19
Sounds like you might have to bite the bullet on this one
fleckney26 25
Why are people disliking such phunny jokes?
zaise_chsa 19
I think it's because someone else made the same pun earlier and I didn't see it. Still a damn fine pun.
warsun 27
Aww it's ok. Better luck next time
poncho55 40
YDI, OP. I feel really bad for your teacher. FHL, not yours.
ileenefudge 29
#65 no it isn't just an honest mistake. If OP has been paying attention in the first place, and has not been throwing rocks, that bullet would still be alive today to be passed around to many future classes. Even if OP were to jump in after it there is no guarantee that the bullet would be found.
JohnTheLad 13
basically saying "*** ya self, American History". Dam.
Aspireworks 12
Basically saying "**** yourself, English language." Damn.
Fmlsea 28
you threw away a rare piece of history in the water ! why did you not go after it . in future please refrain from touching important things .
LennyComa 39
Ooooh that sounds like a detention
cjlerch 29
Or seven.
TallMist 32
Or over 9,000.
JMichael 26
Did you get detention for that?