Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML
Today, after returning from taking my sister off to college, my parents told me that our house would be a lot quieter with my sister gone. Not because she's loud, but because she has friends and I apparently don't. FML
Today, I found out that ALL of my friends were in the same class and I was in a different one. They went away on camp, and I'm going to be alone for this whole week. FML
Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML
Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML
Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML
Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML
Today, I teasingly asked my crush why he never came to visit me in my dorm. He said that all his friends there had moved out and gotten apartments, so he had no reason to go to my dorm. Oh. I thought we were friends. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
briedis 0
It's better to have two close friends than 10 friends who later turn out to be assholes :)
Ib83 0
ummmmmmmmmmm sounds like he was just teasing. not really an FML
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
IAmBridgette 0
Why should you be defined by the number of friends you have? When I used to be in a large group a friends, I learned that not all of them were the best people to hang out with. Then I only had four of them and I felt so much better knowing I could trust them.
Jackson91 0
Well, I only have one friend, why are you complaining?
aikidogirl96 0
Lots of dads tease their sons/daughters. Its no big deal just forgive him and get over it.
ZeroCSS 0
A lot of FMLs seem to be from people that have a faulty sarcasm detector. This is one of them.
SookMauNoots 0
i only have 2 friends too. who gives a flyin ****
spovich_fml 0
I totally agree. having 2 friends is absolutely enough...
claudia19801811 14
Thats quite funny