Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML
Today, after returning from taking my sister off to college, my parents told me that our house would be a lot quieter with my sister gone. Not because she's loud, but because she has friends and I apparently don't. FML
Today, I found out that ALL of my friends were in the same class and I was in a different one. They went away on camp, and I'm going to be alone for this whole week. FML
Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML
Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML
Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML
Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML
Today, I teasingly asked my crush why he never came to visit me in my dorm. He said that all his friends there had moved out and gotten apartments, so he had no reason to go to my dorm. Oh. I thought we were friends. FML
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Top comments
briedis 0
It's better to have two close friends than 10 friends who later turn out to be assholes :)
Ib83 0
ummmmmmmmmmm sounds like he was just teasing. not really an FML
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Comments (61)
manderz581 0
haha thats a nice dad you have there. first!!
ffmmllyaya 0
two friends is plenty if they r good
JennyyBennyy 0
haha that is soo something my dad would say..
ZleveL 0
same but my dad said it in front of my friends rofl
Ib83 0
ummmmmmmmmmm sounds like he was just teasing. not really an FML
420hiadventurer 0
hahahahaha he's joking. Don't be so sensitive.
UnCensoredBitch 0
HAHAHA! BURN!
briedis 0
It's better to have two close friends than 10 friends who later turn out to be assholes :)
BadPinkKitty07 0
I completely agree
Dr_Awesome654 24
But it's not as good as having 10 close friends ( ಠ ͜ʖರೃ)
reset_button 0
I say FYL because you can't take a joke
BigLord 0
This probably is a FML because it was meant as a joke but the OP realized it's true :/ heh....
monzie94 0
LMAO. i agree with number 6
genius_man16 1
#7 i saw that the OP deserves it for the same reason