LiveGuard
United States
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
lifeguard down
United States
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
mytoehurts
Ayr, Canada
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Anonymous
*Baywatch music starts*
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Anonymous
Springfield, United States
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Soap0015
United States
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Anonymous
Stony Brook, United States
Baywatch
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Anonymous
Salem, United States
Bad moon rising
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Jenn
Baywatch
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Top comments
YourEvilHero 12
your not ready bro.
Allwind 0
Forgot to swim??
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Comments (101)
vintagemeow 6
Hey, there's no shame in being attacked by the giant octopus that lives in every pools' filter box.
marinus_fml 20
As a qualified lifeguard, I can safely say that it's not all that easy. Here in Australia, there is a certain requirement that has to be met. You must swim 400m (4x100m of each stroke: freestyle,breast stroke, survival back stroke and side stroke) in 12 minutes. It sounds like plenty of time, but trust me after a couple laps, it gets pretty tiring if you're not use to swimming. *That's just one of the requirements OP may be able to swim, but just got extremely exhausted, and couldn't gather enough strength to keep himself afloat.
charlotte69er 7
Alright big guy we don't need instructions :/
Chazyj 4
Here in England it's more or less the same not sure what your times swims are but ares are 20/20 =65sec jump out jump in 20/10=45sec
marinus_fml 20
Excuse me miss 69er, I'm just saying that all these people commenting "it would help if you could swim", need to maybe realize the test isn't primarily to see if you can swim, but to swim a distance in a certain time. My point merely is that I'm pretty sure OP knows he's gotta be able to swim. Just not as far as what he thought.
charlotte69er 7
Well where ever Ur a lifeguard it must be different cuz I have no idea wat ur talking about with distances the dude just needs to know how to swim period...
marinus_fml 20
The dude knows how to swim. He just tires after 300 metres and can't go any further.Period. And what do you mean you don't get the distances? It's pretty easy to understand. 400m in 12 minutes... Seems pretty uncomplicated to me. But then again, you like to dance with ANYONE!
Birdie_Sage 0
Wow, if it's 12 minutes for doing all that... It takes me 5 minutes to get to the other end of the pool... I'm definitely not going to be an olympic swimmer anytime soon...
DaKillaMafia 2
Sounds like something you would do for training in the military.
ladyLALAA 29
29 there's no reason with children who are silly enough to put their phone number on the Internet profile!
ladyLALAA 29
*reasoning, oops.
lifeguardd 0
So, you're telling OP something that he won't able to do because he doesn't live in Australia, Please, tell us all how all how you want to be an olympic swimmer. Enlighten us mate.
DocBastard 40
Charlotte69er - why the **** would you put your cell number on your profile? Do you have more than two brain cells? If so, they clearly aren't communicating with each other. I know teenagers are reckless and stupid, but that's just ridiculous.
The_Hitdude 12
Doc-With all due respect, this has nothing to do with age. This is just pure idiocy. Even I, being 16, wouldn't even consider putting my phone number up on this site, or any other for that matter. I'm shaking my head right now at the complete disregard for displaying secure information online for all to see. I may have just lost all hope in my generation. What she was thinking when she did this? The world may never know....
j_cat187 20
Meh, I do a 500 in about 6:30.
RedPillSucks 33
marinus, Your logic is wasted here. Also, I suspect that people may be confusing pool lifeguard with beach lifeguard. I'm not a lifeguard, but I suspect the requirements are different. However, I think you still need to do more than "just swim" even for a pool lifeguard.
DocBastard 40
Hitdude - I hear you. I didn't mean that all teens are stupid, just most of you. :) And before all you teenagers get up in arms about this, remember that I was a stupid teenager once too. I did my fair share of stupid things. But you generally don't realise that you were stupid until you're much older.
marinus_fml 20
RedPill, not too sure what you mean by my logic is wasted here? Does that mean your backing me or opposing me? Also, yes there are different qualifications for pool and beach, and yes there is more than "just swimming" to pool lifeguard. Pool lifeguard includes senior first aid, and heavily focuses on spinal injuries (people diving into shallow pools are very common) and also resuscitation along with the use of oxygen. Here in Australia to use the oxygen you must be qualified.
Lionesse 15
As a Lifeguard, I was already told that that there are different requirements for beach Lifeguards and pool/water park lifeguards. I work at a Waterpark, and I had to learn about Spinals, how to give first aid, and all sorts of other life saving drills. But, the "Shallow" Guards don't have to swim as much as the Special Facilities guards. So requirements are based on where and what you are doing.
KairoFallin 0
I'm speaker speaking on behalf of anyone right now, but that distance is nothing. That is a little over a mile, that's what I warm up with at practice. On the other hand, 12 minutes for 1600m is virtually impossible. The world record in the mile (1500m) is
izackthegreat 1
I feel ya. We need to gather the brighter brains of our generation and come together to fix some messes our generation made..
Lionesse 15
No offense 78, but you sound arrogant. You are not here to brag. So you are good swimmer. Bravo. Go save some people then.
disengaged 6
Charlotte69er... You're around 15 aren't you? Memo: nobody thinks you're funny. You don't know shit. Enjoy your day
Chazyj 4
Being one my self I can't see how dude but just train a bit more and in 2 weeks you can retake your self :) on less its different in the USA
Chazyj 4
Retake your test** not self FML
Birdie_Sage 0
And then you made it halfway up. I bet you passed the test! LiveGuard? Lol...
Wisc 0
Time to consider looking for another summer job?
greenmen 12
At least you lived to tell us the story. You should be grateful
Arxikist 3
I hope this conversation will be happening soon: OPs Friend: Hey OP, you still wanna be a lifeguard, eh? OP: Fuhgedaboudit
lifeguardd 0
Brooklyn stand up!!!
br0ccoli 15
Ummm....I think you need to be more like Michael Phelps and less like DiCaprio in Titanic when Rose pushed his rotting carcass off the floating piece she was lying on.
rubberduckie94 13
Well that's another job you can cross off your list.
paramedic915 5
Lifeguards are always in a panic when I get there cuz all they know to do us get people out of the water. But what comes next is for the real pros.
MrGroovy28 7
If you are referring to real pros as Basic Life Support then you are correct. These aren't typically ALS calls.