Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
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Top comments
stormin972 0
Always put the hot sauce on the door. Lesson learned.
lovestrong 0
HAHAHAHA; Fuccck your life clumsy :)
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Comments (145)
torrlynn37 0
#4 only squares don't like hot sauce.
krissytina 6
does anyone even use the term squares anymore?
LeighMoreno 0
Yep, pretty sure some do.
Chrisskiies 0
I know I do 8) lol
krissytina 6
That's kinda sad I've never heard anyone younger then 50 use that term, but I guess whatever floats your boat
Chrisskiies 0
How's it sad? Just becuase I don't restrict my vocabulary to common phrases that are over used, and sometimes annoying? Hmm I guess so. Lol
krissytina 6
Haha why? that term is so old.....makes me think of Grease
LeighMoreno 0
^ Agree with Chris.
Chrisskiies 0
Idk, I just do lol. If I could grow my hair to slick it back I would, but a las I cannot. :(
krissytina 6
Lol say what you want, I'm not your mother
krissytina 6
Haha unless I have a son I don't know about then.....no. Would you like me to be?
Chrisskiies 0
I say what's on my mind at the time. Lol
krissytina 6
Lol correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure it's impossible to be 22 and have a 21 year old son but hey if you want me to be your mom then by all means I'll be your mother haha
LeighMoreno 0
:o Wow, what has this conversation just turned into lol..
krissytina 6
Haha uhhhh good question.....I guess I'm kinda twisted that way?? sure.....we'll go with that for now :D
LeighMoreno 0
Aha, no way. Online adoption is the in thing now. You're perfectly normal. :P
krissytina 6
Lol he'd be dead in like a day if I adopted him. he would probably say something to piss me off then I'd tell him to go play in traffic or something or kill him.....whichever opportunity comes up first :P
Chrisskiies 0
I'd go and get drunk if you told me that. Lol
krissytina 6
Lol yeah I would probably do the same I'm not very good at listening to people....well actually it's more like selective hearing
Chrisskiies 0
The more the merrier I always say. :)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
108: Is that your response to everything? O.o
Chrisskiies 0
Lol no it is not Jane, but being drunk makes things more pleasant, an a hell of a lot funnier.
aranpl0x 0
not really a fml but Fyl lol
cstrat 0
At least it wasn't your eye... that's worse.
acruzmn 0
a hotter one got in my eye.. hurts like hell
Son_of_Helghan 0
jeezus! how ****** clumsy can you get?
talb1 7
I agree with #1
acruzmn 0
dude.. an insanely hot sauce called insanity hit sauce got in my frekin eye!! hurt for 6 hours so... suck it up
piggy94 0
how could you possibly step on the glass? I mean when it broke why would anybody step on it why wouldn't you at least sweep or mop it up and put some shoes on it's only common sense. YDI for being semi retarded
waterynuggets 0
They could have jumped back and accidentally ended up on scattered glass pieces, it's called a -GASP- natural reaction.
torrlynn37 0
apparently sooo. haha
torrlynn37 0
Chris, you and I will use the word square, and you can slick your hair back if you want. greaseeee is an amazing movie.
krissytina 6
It is a pretty awesome movie
xo_summer_xo 0
I just cringed a little reading this... :P