Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML
Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
No cafe?! Next you're gonna say that polar bears don't actually hand out Cokes. LIES!
nela25 23
I guess he really wanted an iced coffee.
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Comments (93)
MasqueradePrince 25
I hope your not injured very badly, and if you are I hope someone makes you a Pokemon "get well soon" card!
Catkam623 27
That's one way to go cliff diving...
gracehi 33
No café on the glacier? Please tell me there's at least a McDonalds there...
trolled11 8
he needs to chill
perdix 31
Caffeine addiction is not a joke!!! The beast must be fed! You should have a St. Bernard with a little barrel of coffee around it's neck.
rockne93 17
Find them and kick their ass
skyeyez9 25
...you could have joked with her and said sorry, no cafe, but we have a Walmart on the glacier.
w_introuble 25
Why her? It doesn't say the tourist was a female, so how can you tell? Op, sorry to hear that, people are just retarded and selfish, they just want what they want and they care about no one. Hope you're ok!
CommanderZooJob 8
Now what exactly do glacier guides do? "Here we have some ice, I believe that there is a crack, oh look, more ice!"
skyeyez9 25
And "Watch where you step."
Silvinomiae 20
Silly question: they obviously point out the absence of cafés, #25
coried91 28
I was watching some show once and they showed a Glacier that had these really cool tunnel/pathways. I'm not sure what they're actually called but it was really interesting looking. Glaciers aren't just big flat chunks of ice. You should look pictures up on Google.
Omniprism 15
Let's hope those people don't procreate. And maybe sarcastically before you take them on the glacier tell them that there are no cafés, spas or shopping centers on it.
imbedderdenu 23
wow...they don't have a cafe on a Glacier?!?! what the hell?