Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML
Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tnlander 20
Fresher meat than what's inside the hot pocket and at least you can identify what animal it is.
saIty 17
I wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (293)
Dabestisjlee 0
Hey its extra protein :)
lopez1222 3
It adds to the flavor!
socialdisease 1
Don't cry over ruined hot pockets, there's always more in the freezer...
Snowstar 0
You mean in the toilet? ... Jim Gaffigan reference.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I read this after taking a big dump. Never eating hot pockets again now.
chickenwalrus 14
109 thanks i was just now wondering if you had been taking a dump or not but you answered my question for me.
Lolpizza_fml 0
A Fly Flavored Hot Pocket! Sounds delicious...
tj4234 36
tbh this is more of an FML for the fly...
perdix 31
Call Jim Gaffigan! This has got to go in his act. The sad part is that the fly is the least health-damaging part of your meal.
BelleBelle_fml 11
*Diarrhea pockets*
Snowstar 0
IMMA GO STICK MY HEAD IN A MICROWAVE ewe
mdizzl 6
I heard that flies had great nutritional value :)
itsalanis 25
i find it amusing when ants get fried in the micro. great lightshow.
bizarre_ftw 22
If I wouldn't feel so sadistic I would seriously want to try that!!!!
shane27 0
Stick a couple wet Grapes in it touching eachother even better lightshow.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Did you still eat it? I would have, I mean hot pockets are expensive now.
bizarre_ftw 22
Lol!!! That's screwed up but hilarious!!!!!
Iwashere12345 0
HOT POCKET!! :D