Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML
Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
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Top comments
tnlander 20
Fresher meat than what's inside the hot pocket and at least you can identify what animal it is.
saIty 17
I wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
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Comments (293)
agoth 0
as bear grylls would say... nutrients
Alastrina_fml 20
Normally I'd make a joke that that's a bad source of fiber, but that's really friggin' gross.
fadingfaith 4
When I read this I heard the hot-pocket song in my head. :D
theMangoW 6
If you are ever stuck on a deserted island, you know what to eat for protein ;)
ermkrmr 0
this reminds me of that old horror movie when this guy makes a teleporter, and tests it out but realizes that a fly was in it with him so he becomes half fly. I think it's called The Fly.
babybrunette128 8
Well that's one way to kill a fly! And maybe it flew in there to end it's own life purposely..
Majstr 23
That fml should fly write.
moshpitlover77 0
what a waste of a perfectly good hot pocket, poor fly I bet he was just hungry
Petit_elle 0
Flies are meant to survive in microwave..check the internet xP
Petit_elle 0
Flies are meant to survive in microwave..check the internet xP